MADONNA REVELATIONS

It's Over... Like We Knew It Would Be

2010-02-03T04:25:00.000-08:00

"Madonna and her toyboy lover Jesus Luz have decided to part ways after they ran out of things to talk about. Madonna and Luz, who is 28-year her junior, have blamed the age difference and lack of common interest for the end of their romance."
Really? And this is news? Plzzzzz.

The busy work schedule of the 51-year-old singer is also said to be a factor in their break-up, Sun reported online. "It was not only totally amicable but it was Luz who initiated the split," the sources said.
Oh, when has it not been a factor? Madonna puts her career in front of everything, even her children. That's why they are mostly raised by nannies and bodyguards, instead of their own mother. She's just too busy flashing her crotch to the world, making another forgettable album or reaching for the next goal/record to break -instead of actually living in realtime and being present to those around her, and stopping to confront her own fears.

It's quite ironic that Madonna is perceived to be strong. She is actually weak. She has ran away all her life, trying to escape the pain of life - just look at all her songs, she is rarely happy and always escaping into something. Most of her songs are full of melancholy and insecurity and tries to convince everyone - perhaps herself above everyone else - that everything is going to be alright and she will win in the end. A lot of them also have the blame factor. She is always being hurt, she is always the victim. She denies being one, but infact working through her problems the way she does, she makes herself one. In the process she has built herself an empire but that does not make her strong. That makes her quite a sad figure, cos she did it while desperately trying to be better, stronger, more whole, while using all the wrong methods. She was unhappy before and she is still unhappy, only richer. Due to her escapism, she has prevented all true envolvement of her character, humanity, capability to love and recieve love and even to experience her own life, her own self as it is. She's in denial, has always been. A little girl blaming everyone else for her sadness and unhappiness and misfortune, when she herself has created the pattern and invited it all in.

Madonna, who is the mother of four children, has told friends she and Brazilian Jesus are at "different places" in their lives. "The problem is as simple as it is obvious - it''s the age difference. How long could it last? How it even lasted a year seems a miracle to a lot of people," a friend of the singer said. "They are in such different places in their lives. They both benefited, but it's pretty much over now. Or as Madonna told me, ''We've just run out of things to talk about. It's really pushing it for us to have common ground these days. We have Kabbalah, that's about it".

Where have we heard this before? Sounds so familiar. Wasn't it the same thing that happened to Madonna and Guy Ritchie? Didn't they too just run out of things to talk about, besides Kabbalah. Though Guy presumably saw through the bull**t and left the cult while Madonna is only diving deeper into it. In fact, she is more Kabbalah than anything else these days. She doesn't even seem to be a popstar anymore, she seems to be a world-wide preacher brainwasher, a leader and face of a cult, plunging the ideas of the mysticism into the hearts of... well, just about anyone: fans, friends, orphans, everyone is a target. Anyone who is not into her cult, find themselves out of her circle. And like her past proves, it's good riddens one way or another for whatever reason always when it comes to people. She is a big time user, not just professionally but also personally. She just sucks what she can get and moves on. Opportunistic monster, really.

Just flip through her albums (from ROL forward) and most of the songs and any other presentation she gives are about the ideas and the magic of Kabbalah, which is nothing but witchcraft in the end. You'd need to be quite blind not recognize how Kabbalah has changed and manifested in Madonna's work. Before she put her insecurity on the record, experimenting with many things which we will later write about, and then she started to write about Kabbalah and hasn't stopped since. In the end, Kabbalah too is another way to escape for Madonna - promising that she is the master of her own destiny, that she is a magical wizard of sorts, that she will never die, that it brings her good fortune and protects her. Which is probably the reason why she feels so strongly about it. But in the process she has changed into a darker, gloomier, almost emotionless creature. It oozes out of her like joy of performing used to shine through her in the early days. We can only imagine how ugly she really is underneath all her veils and masks, what her true self is like. We've got climpses of it on the way but fans are always eager to put those things aside. But they mount up eventually. Truth always wins in the end. That is if you are ready to receive it and not deny it. Truth is good and it does set you free. Don't walk away from it like Madonna does.

It's no wonder, Madonna and Jesus Luz didn't make it. He was just entertainment for Madonna. I mean, come on: What chance did they ever have of staying together? No chance whatsoever. She simply used him to get publicity, and he did the same. They both needed a career boost.

Perhaps Madonna will call Sean now? Can you imagine Sean attending Kabbalah meetings with her? Talking about being the wizards of the universe? We don't see that happening. He's too clever for that. But you simply never know which is the next avenue Madonna will explore to publicize herself, flaunt herself, sell herself, escape herself. We just have to wait and see.

Madonna's Generous Heart - Not!

2010-02-02T04:52:00.000-08:00

After the very tragic Haiti earthquake Madonna donated $250,000 to the cause, wishing that both her fans and celebrity friends join in on the cause, and dared to say "match my donation". Well, later when the friends started giving, we learned that Madonna's "generous" donation was actually among the smallest donations made by the world-known artists - it was about quarter of what her friends parted with. Some smaller stars gave smaller sums but the very competent and so loving Madonna was pretty much the cheapest donator among the big ones.

Fans adored her for being so generous, the press got all crazy over it, MTV kissed her butt when she gave a lame half-assed performance of her so-overdone "Like A Prayer" (she has performed this on pretty much every benefit ever broadcasted). Well, I guess we can at least take comfort that she didn't pick "Ray of Light", one of her most kabbalistic and self-centred tracks available which too has been heard way too many times on such events. We can also be joyful that she stayed quite in tune and that she didn't play Mother Theresa and sing her "Hey You". While performing "Like A Prayer", she did forget lyrics of the song though... or are we supposed to believe that she decided to left that part out? Oh we don't think so. The bad news for Madonna is that the performance is on sale. Poor Madge. The quality just goes down, down, down and the rumours about her upcoming album cannot give any smiles for the fans either, after all it seems that another trainwreck HC album is on the way.

Anyways, back to the original topic: it is very telling that Madonna is willing to invest into a coconut drink the amount of $1.5 million in comparison to giving out "only" quarter of a million to suffering, dying, wounded, orphaned, homeless people of Haiti. But you know why this is: charity doesn't add to your bank account, investing does. What some people call Madonna's generous heart, we call a cold tiny stone. She's always been around for the money and she always will be. What's the death of approximately 170,000 people and lots more wounded, the conditions of thousands of orphans, the lack of clean water & food in addition to rebuilding an entire nation compared to... well, making cocunut-water popsicles? I guess we can rest our case on this one!

Story from The New York Post about Madonna's coconut water investment:

Madonna is so nuts for coconut water that she invested about US$1.5 million in one of the leading makers of the drink, which has taken Hollywood and New York by storm, The New York Post reported Sunday.

The Material Girl singer, who started drinking coconut water on her world tour last year, is lobbying business ideas at New York-based Vita Coco company, said her manager Guy Oseary.
Oseary said she has spoken to company founder Michael Kirban about her ideas for the drink which includes making coconut-water Popsicles.

Oseary is also investing seven figures in the company and has rounded up friends - actors Mathew McConaughey and Demi Moore, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis, who are making smaller, but "significant investments."

The total investments, estimated to be under $10 million, will amount to a minority stake in Vita Coco, which has been valued at between $120 and $140 million by industry analysts.
Madonna is so enthusiastic about coconut water - the clear juice from young, green coconuts, not the brown coconuts that have a milky liquid center - that she drank fresh coconut juice daily on the overseas leg of the Sticky & Sweet tour. There is also talk that she might make a follow-up investment.

Oseary said he and Madonna were attracted to the financial side of the business because it is vertically integrated - they own their own factories - and because they are independent.
"The fact that they are saying no to everyone who wants them is pretty cool," he said. "You want to go to the party that no one else is invited to."

Vita Coco, which expected to log $40 million in sales this year, turned down multi-million dollar investments from beverage industry giants Coke and Pepsi - opting to try to make it alone in the highly competitive water wars.

Vita Coco has 60 per cent of the market, but competes with two other brands, Zico and ONE.
Kirban, 34, who started the company with pal Ira Liran in 2004, hopes to use the investor cash to expand distribution beyond New York and LA.

70s Photography: "She's Not Me - She's A Copy Machine"

2010-01-21T03:19:00.000-08:00

To those who have read this blog for some time and checked out the "She's Not Me - She's A Copy Machine" section, you won't be surprised that there is more...

Here is some 70s photography (or video footage, we are not sure) that Madonna convieniently happened to channel around mid-2000 while shooting a backdrop video, where they also took some pictures that would later appear in the cover of a magazine. Unfortunately we were unable to identify the woman in the original photos/film stills along with the original photographer/director who shoot them, so we need to present this one without further details. However, if you recall the Guy Bourdin case in which Madonna was forced to pay up for copyright infringement concerning her "Hollywood" video, this one looks more than similar to that one.

Madonna has basically taken the concept as it is, using the same type of set, wardrobe, hair, jewelry, mirrors - the whole artistic look. The end result is so strikingly similar that you gotta be careful picking out what picture is from the 70s and what is from Madonna's photoshoot.

If this photographer would be alive he would most likely be able to sue her for copyright enfringement. Or perhaps Madonna got a tiny bit smarter after the Bourdin fiasco and she actually paid to use the material as her source of "inspiration" for this one. We doubt it, considering her past record of stepping on people just to get ahead in her career. But even if she did pay, it does not take away the fact that she is again riding on someone elses creativity, not her own. It makes her a great copycat, but hardly an innovative artist.

"Keep your eyes on the prize and don't get distracted", she blurped to Adam Lambert not too long ago. Let's just hope she didn't teach him the fine art of people usage.

It's fine to take inspiration and pay tributes to other creative people. But when you do it for 25 years in a row and all you seem to put out are remakes of something already existing it inevitably casts a long dark shadow over what has been hailed as the showbiz career beyond comparison.

With Madonna, there is always one story she and her publicists say and then there is another story that is hidden from everyone. You just got to find that other story and bring it to light. We've been doing it for some time, translating her if you will. She's clever alright. But once you are not under her charms, she is also very see-through.

Ray of Fright!

2010-01-07T04:11:00.000-08:00

You might think it's someone straight from the Massacre movies, but it's actually Madonna going to the movies in New York with her toyboy Jesus Luz. We watched as Michael Jackson started to wear masks to hide away from the cameras, and now it seems we are bound to witness the same with the queen of publicity.

But it's always fun to speculate why she felt compelled to do this. It might have been the cold? It's unlikely since she is wearing a scarf that does not warm you up in the least. She might have wanted to hide away from the papa-paparazzi. Partly true perhaps - but it's not exactly a good idea to use your signature wardrobe if you want to go unnoticed.. so we don't really believe this was the reason either. It seems more credible that Madonna simply doesn't want her face to appear in any paparazzi photos - we all know how terribly cruel those photos can be, revealing everything a public figure might want to hide. She seems to be set on presenting the public only what she wants them to see - which is a photoshopped beauty, not the real her. Well, that's really the story of her life - presenting herself as someone who she is not.

But the fact is Madonna is terrified of growing old and especially looking like a 51 year old woman. You know, it brings up nasty confusing questions like: "Am I really immortal? Doesn't the blah blah I believe and donate to prevent me from dying?" Well, we know the answer to those. No, sorry, you are not immortal. Your blah blah does not save you. You'll grow old and die just like the rest of us. Just get over it.

Madonna Screen Tragedy: Lost The Role of Her Life

2010-01-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Let's kick off the new year, readers!

Most fans remember how Madonna appeared in a cartoonish adventure movie "Arthur and the Invisibles" in 2006, lending her voice to one of its characters, Princess Selenia. The movie was directed by French film director, Luc Besson. Back then, Madonna's character was described in the following manner:

"Selenia is the daughter of the King of the Minimoys. Despite appearing haughty and arrogant she is an honorable and caring individual who is determined to protect her people from the evil of Malthazar. She has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with Arthur at first, believing him to be her inferior. However, after he draws the Sword of the Minimoys from the Stone, she comes to respect him. During their journey they fall in love. Selenia is a formidable fighter and possesses great if unexercised intelligence."

As Madonna may possess in real life as well, or perhaps not... She also got her signature move into the movie in 2006: her character is showing and wiggling her firm butt while entering a car.

The sequel to the adventures of Arthur was expected for Christmas 2009 but it has been delayed. When it finally comes out, Madonna will not be in it. Perhaps because in three years time the badly mannered warrior Princess Selenia has blossomed into a beautiful woman -while Madonna has turned into this expressionless nostalgia mask. We would bet our money that if the real Madonna was to replace the wax Madonna of Tokyo, no one would notice the difference - before she would throw her first tantrum that is... =)

In any case, it is rather sad that Madonna did not make it to the sequel because while watching her performance in Arthur and the Invisibles, you cannot help but think that perhaps this was the best movie role she ever had the privilige to play and also the only one where audiences don't have to cringe. As the minimoy princess Madonna is just about fantastic -her performance is saved by the fact that you just cannot see her and at times she doesn't even sound like her, which could only be considered as a bonus.

Happy Holidays - Thank You For This Year!

2009-12-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

We want to thank all our readers for this year. Lots more interesting, mindblowing, aggravating, unbelievable Madonna revelations coming up next year. Happy detoxing for 2010. Make sure to tune in, we ain't even close to being finished unmasking the icon we loved.

Demented Dafne - our pet character and a former Madonna fan recouperating from her addictions to the Diva Disasterous - wanted to record her own message for the holidays, and we are now happily broadcasting it straight from Dr.Bitchslap's Institute of Mental Disorders' own radio station, Radio Nut. We can only be amazed at how similar she sounds in comparison to Madonna's "Santa Baby" cover. Like twins seperated at birth! See you next year, folks!

2009-12-23T09:33:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

JT wins for causes celebre

2009-12-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

Apparently JT is also Bringin' Charity Back.

The Daily Beast's Celebrity Impact Rankings, a number-crunching exercise to determine which celebrities earned the most dollars toward their favorite causes, puts Justin Timberlake at the top of a 50-celebrity list, easily outpointing such well-known do-gooders as Bono and Madonna.

The Daily Beast used a complicated system that included personal donations and also calculated the dollar value of every major-media mention and online presence linking the celebrity with his/her pet cause.

(Justin Timberlake does work for the Shriners Hospitals for Children. That mention alone just upped his impact by another $35,000.)

Their surprising results? The Beast pegs Timberlake's impact at more than $9 million, well ahead of Madonna's $5.5 million for Raising Malawi and Pamela Anderson's $4.8 million for PETA. On the other hand, celebs such as Paris Hilton, the Beast says, "barely make enough of a dent to justify sending a limo over."

It's worth noting that the Daily Beast's numbers considered only a celebrity's primary charity. That might have been a disadvantage to celebs who raise money for multiple good causes.

Other names in the top 10 were Bono, George Clooney, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Rihanna, Shakira and Oprah Winfrey. *Courtesy of Chicagotribune.com

Readers Vote Britney Spears The Best Live Act Of 2009

2009-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Although the U.S. suffered one of its worst economic downturns in its history, it seemed more pop acts decided to hit the road than ever before, including the first tour in years for acts like Britney Spears, No Doubt, and Blink 182. But with some of the biggest tours hitting venues around the country, these are the Best Live Acts of 2009 as voted by CNS readers.

1. Britney Spears: The pop princess embarked on her first tour in five years with "The Circus starring Britney Spears" and silenced critics and naysayers after completing nearly 100 sold-out shows across the U.S., UK, and Australia. She played ringleader, lady cop, and Perez Hilton assassin during her 90-minute set which included hits "Toxic," "Womanizer," and a surprisingly adept cover of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."

2. Lady Gaga: Gaga saved the blood and the bottle-breaking for television appearances, but toured her hits and signature wacky outfits on her "Fame" and "Monster Ball." She downsized her failed arena tour with Kanye West to pack her little monsters into clubs and theaters for sold out dates all over the country.

3. Beyonce: Beyonce showed just who she was on her "I Am..." world tour: emotive balladeer, naughty girl, and "Single Ladies"-singing show-stopper.

4. Pink: Pink's high-flying "Sober" performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was just a preview of the hi-jinks the singer gets into on her "Funhouse" world tour, which became the highest-grossing tour by a female in Australia

5. Green Day: Green Day embarked on a nationwide tour in support of "21st Century Breakdown," which included over 15 years of Green Day hits along with cuts from their critically-acclaimed new album, which showed that there's no breakdown in one of the best live rock acts in the world.

6. Madonna: Madonna reprised her "Sticky & Sweet Tour" for some overseas dates which out-grossed every other female in the touring game.

7. Muse: The English rockers took their "Resistance" out on the road for the first time this year, uprising thousands of fans for sold-out arena shows and festivals all over the world.

8. No Doubt: Gwen Stefani and the boys hit the road for the first time in five years, rocking out hits like "Spiderwebs," "Ex-Girlfriend," and "Don't Speak" as if "Hollaback Girl" had never happened.

9. U2: With its giant claw-like structure, thousands of fans surround the band on their "U2 360° Tour," earning even bigger raves for its impressive design and effects than their performance.

10. Kylie Minogue: The Australian pop star hit North America for the first time for her "For You, For Me" Tour, finally gracing her American fans with a career-spanning set of her biggest hits.

Just Outside the Top 10: Kelly Clarkson, Blink 182, Tori Amos *Courtesy of AllHeadlineNews

It's time to stop pretending we don't notice Madonna's rapidly changing face

2009-12-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I have nothing against (good) plastic surgery. Real talk, let me see a wrinkle or something slipping prematurely and I will be booking a flight to Boca to see Dr. Fleishman before you can say 'more painkillers, please.'

Oh sure, I used to be one of those finger-wagging people that thought chopping up the face was some sort of blasphemous act, but come on. We bleach our teeth, get weaves, wear fake nails, add lifts in our shoes, spray on tans and do tons more things in the name of cosmetic vanity, and no one thinks those are considered odd. If there's something about your appearance that makes you self-conscious and you have a means of fixing it, by all means, slice it up.

That being said, WTH is going on with Madonna's face? Have you seen it lately?

This is so jarring because, once upon a time, Madonna was the poster girl for (slightly pretentious) yoga rejuvenation. Yet on the low, homegirl was quietly pumping her face full of more chemicals. It was just a year ago that New York magazine was gushing about how the Medical Material Girl was the new face of, well, face: she personified the new(ish) move towards getting more youthful and natural looking injections and fillers, rather than old-school nips and tucks. (BTW, there's an amazing medical spa on Granby Street, Skin, which has fierce relatively low-priced injections that will take decades off your face. Ask me how I know!)

Anyhoo, yes, Madonna. Just as recently as "Confessions" she looked, you know, mature, but juicy and plump in the face. (Yet, you can always tell by the hands. A woman like say, Demi More, can look like a 25-year-old above the neck, yet be spooked when you look down at her hands. You know the type, that 5th Avenue, stay-in-Chanel lady whose paws look like a three-dimensional subway map. Yes. Whoever comes up with hand plastic surgery will die rich. And also, did you see that Saturday Night Live with Madonna and Lady Gaga? Madge has the floppy, wiggly pancake booty of an 82-year-old man. And to be clear, I never want to see that in a leotard.)

So, yeah. While she once looked dubiously youthful, Madonna's new face is chopped and screwed harder than a Lil Wayne track. Look at that ad above! It's like she's always saying, 'Who?' or 'How?'

Poor thing. Probably will only be able to drink through a straw by 2015. *Courtesy of hamptonroads.com

Miley Cyrus Slams Angelina Jolie and Madonna

2009-12-23T07:41:00.001-08:00

Miley Cyrus lashed out at Angelina Jolie and Madonna in an interview on an Irish celebrity TV show. The Hannah Montana star says she “really disagrees” with Jolie and Madonna putting their children in the public eye.

Jolie and her partner Brad Pitt are often photographed out in public with their 6 children. The couple has also sold pictures of their children to magazines. All profits from the magazine spreads went to charity. Madonna is also photographed with her 3 children often. *Courtesy of transworldnews

A Thousand-Headed Crowd Says: Madonna No Longer Admirable

2009-12-23T02:49:00.000-08:00

Suunto sport watches have conducted a survey which polled 1,000 UK consumers. The survey reveals, among other things that Madonna is no longer that admirable. Another bullet on the Material Girl's vest which seems to be full of holes.

What makes this most interesting is that Madonna's "rival" Kylie Minogue has been crowned the most admired female celebrity of the decade. Minogue, known for her own longevity in the music business, her career spanning from the 80s till the present time and with a first successful American tour under her belt, claimed nearly half of all votes (48%). She beat the supposed queen of pop, Madonna by a long shot. Madonna got only 13.5% of the votes. What makes it even more embarrasing for Madonna is that Victoria Beckham, the wife of footballer David Beckham and ex-member of Spice Girls got 13.5% of votes as well, meaning that Madonna and Victoria have a tie.

They also share something else: Victoria is obsessed with her tiny body and looks more anorexic each time you look at her - a similar obsession is part of Madonna's daily life. Victoria can't really sing either - while Madonna is unable to carry a tune without a vocalizer these days. They could be twins - only Victoria has thinner ankles. =)

Congratulations to Kylie!

Madonna 'celebration' rocks Madame Tussauds Hong Kong

2009-12-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

The flash of cameras filled Madame Tussauds Hong Kong, as the attraction unveiled Madonna’s wax likeness, as well as hosting the “So You Think You Can Dance…Like Madonna?” competition, bringing an all-new interactive dance experience to guests just in time for the Christmas season.

During the event, the finalists got their groove on and went head to head live, before the attraction unveiled the superstar’s all-new look with the help of William Chan, one of the hottest local dance icons. The unveiling also marked the release of Madonna’s all-new greatest hits album “Celebration”, earlier in 2009.

“Madonna is undoubtedly the Queen of Pop, known for her high-energy dancing and singing that has rocked audiences and venues around the world. With the Christmas season fast approaching, our new interactive experience is set to immerse guests in excitement at Madame Tussauds Hong Kong like never before and help them celebrate the holidays with some unbelievable dancing fun,” said Bret Pidgeon, General Manager of Madame Tussauds Hong Kong and Shanghai. *Courtesy of indianexpress.com

Malawi appeals for international help after quake

2009-12-21T09:34:00.000-08:00

BLANTYRE, Malawi — Disaster officials in Malawi are appealing for international help after a powerful earthquake killed at least three people and damaged thousands of homes.

Lilian Ng'oma, the Commissioner for Disaster Management Affairs, told The Associated Press Monday from northern Malawi that the situation was "pathetic and sad," with thousands of homes uninhabitable following Sunday's 6.0-magnitude quake in the Karonga district.

The Malawi Red Cross Society and Ng'oma's department have provided some tents, but local official Gasten Macheka said many more are needed.

"We need at least 48,000 tents to cater for the 270, 000 people in the district," he said.

Macheka said 1,111 houses were destroyed by the quake and more than 3,565 were damaged and may collapse. People who have yet to get tents are staying in the open air while water is seen gushing from the ground from broken sewers.

In some areas there are no houses standing.

Macheka said at least three people were killed and 200 injured Sunday.

Karonga District health officer James Mpunga said close to 300 people were treated for varying degrees of injuries from broken bones to skin lacerations.

"We are still receiving more patients from outlaying areas," he said.

The Karonga district in northern Malawi has been hit by a series of earthquakes and aftershocks since the beginning of December. Tremors also shook the district Sunday night.

Parts of Malawi that lie in the Great Rift Valley are prone to quakes. *Courtesy of The Associated Press

Madonna top celebrity of the decade

2009-12-21T08:52:00.000-08:00

Madonna was declared the "most famous celebrity of the decade", in a column inch countdown of British national newspapers.

Robbie Williams, who has enjoyed comeback success this year, was the most written-about male celeb of the past 10 years.

Michael Jackson, whose death in June - just before he was due to embark on a marathon string of London concerts - sent shockwaves around the world, was the best-documented star of 2009 in the survey.

Man of the moment and Britain's Got Talent and X Factor supremo Simon Cowell was in second place in the survey which covered 2009 up to December 7.

Others catapulted into the limelight thanks to Cowell's talent shows include Susan Boyle, who researchers found had 3,170 pieces written about her in 2009, and twins John and Edward Grimes, collectively known as Jedward, who attracted 1,112 articles due to their X Factor success.

Cheryl Cole's national newspaper popularity increased almost three-fold following her role as a judge in The X Factor, according to the research.

In 2007, the Girls Aloud singer had 884 articles written about her, but this number increased to 2,241 in 2008 and a further 3,745 reports appeared this year, which means that she is the fourth most written about celebrity of 2009.

With a high profile marriage and divorce, adoption bids and one of the most successful careers around, Madonna has accrued 45,633 mentions over the decade.

This was around 17,000 more news articles than her nearest rival Williams.

The study was commissioned by online UK TV channel Liv, which features style and celebrity programming.*Courtesy of Press Association

*Madonna has no doubt been mentioned in the press over the last decade in several countries, but what percentage of it was about her music? Over the past ten years we have heard about her troubled marriage -then her divorce, her bad acting, her adoption fiascos, her charity, her wardrobe and hairstyle, her terribly muscular body, her kiss with Brit, her move to Live Nation, overpriced concert tickets, buying more properties, and her new lover. Proving to the confused masses that tabloid fodder does not a relevant pop star make. Let us not forget that Madonna is a master at the press coverage game-she created this category decades ago. Since when is what she does in her personal life the same as being musically relevant? It's not. And Madonna's album sales tell us a completely different story from the one she has been trying to sell us for years.

Ritchie has no regrets over Madonna movie

2009-12-21T08:45:00.000-08:00

Guy Ritchie doesn’t regret making ‘Swept Away’ with ex-wife Madonna.

The 41-year-old British director – whose 2002 movie ‘Swept Away’ starring his ex-wife Madonna, 51, flopped at the cinema and went straight to DVD in the UK – said he wasn’t upset by the critics, because you have to do some things wrong in order to know what works.

He said: “’Swept Away’ was always going to have a limited audience. The idea was that it was going to be a small film... but you can’t do small films with the ex.”

The romantic comedy was a disaster at the box office, just like his 2005 film ‘Revolver’ which starred Jason Stratham, but Guy said he doesn’t take too much criticism on board, and in fact, ‘Revolver’ was still his favourite movie.

He said: “I think on reflection it always will be. Celebrity culture can only be capricious and ephemeral, sometimes you are in synch with what everybody wants, sometimes you are not.”

Speaking to The Sunday Times newspaper, Guy said one of the best things about making his newest film, ‘Sherlock Holmes’ – starring Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. - was the huge £80 million budget he was given.

He said: “It was good having deep pockets, I never had deep pockets before.” *Courtesy of Irelandonline

2009-12-20T21:15:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Brittany Murphy Passes Away at age 32: Our Condolences

2009-12-20T15:28:00.000-08:00

Madonna Revelations would like to send our condolences to Brittany's husband, family and friends.

Brittany has starred in Family Prayers, Clueless, Freeway, Bongwater, Drive, Falling Sky, The Prophecy II, Zack and Reba, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Girl, Interrupted, Trixie, Angels!, Cherry Falls, The Audition, Sidewalks of New York, Summer Catch, Don't Say A Word, Riding in Cars with Boys, Spun, Something in Between, 8 Mile, Just Married, Uptown Girls, Good Boy!, Little Black Book, Sin City, Neverwas, The Groomsmen, Love and Other Disasters, Happy Feet, The Dead Girl, The Ramen Girl, Futurama:The Beast with a Billion Backs, Deadline, Across the Hall, Abandoned. She has also starred in numerous television shows.

Brittany Murphy and Paul Oakenfold released the single "Faster Kill Pussycat" in 2006. She also covered Queen's "Somebody to Love" and Earth & Wind & Fire's "Boogie Wonderland."

Murphy is survived by Simon Monjack, her husband, who she married in 2007 and has dated Ashton Kutcher.

Madge-isms

2009-12-20T15:02:00.000-08:00

"I'm very fond of the records in-between 'Like A Prayer' and 'Ray Of Light' - though I would agree that both of these albums were watershed moments for me." - Madonna

Madonna Treats Jesus Luz Like Dirt

2009-12-20T14:26:00.000-08:00

"`Queen of Pop` Madonna has chosen not to spend the festive season with her toy-boy Jesus Luz as she heads to London to spend Christmas with ex-husband Guy Ritchie.

The 51-year-old singer is bringing the couple`s children Rocco, David Banda, her adopted daughter Mercy James, and her eldest child Lola, to see Ritchie for a traditional Christmas, reported Daily Mail online."

Heaven only knows how many children Madonna will bring with her next Christmas when she visits her ex-husband, the Material Girl accumulates kids like she does accessories.

Madonna recently said that she "loves Jimmy Choo shoes far more than getting intimate with the men in her life", and now she decides to spend the holidays with her ex instead of toy boy Jesus Luz.

Is Ritchie one of the men in her life that Madge is intimate with -- I`m sure that`s what is going through her young lover`s mind.

Jesus must get the message loud and clear by this time: He`s nothing more than a plaything for Madonna. *Courtesy of thesop.org

Madonna to Spend Christmas With Guy Ritchie?

2009-12-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

MADONNA is reportedly set to spend Christmas with her ex-husband Guy Ritchie.

According to Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper, the Holiday singer is bringing the couple’s children Rocco and David Banda, her adopted daughter Mercy James, and her eldest child Lola, to see Guy for a traditional Christmas at his country estate.

“Madonna is flying in for 24 hours so Guy can spend Christmas Day with the children,” a source said.

“Things are amicable between them and the children love Christmas at Ashcombe House in Wiltshire, which Guy has turned into a Santa’s grotto.” *Courtesy of showbizspy

A Very Special Christmas: Santa Baby

2009-12-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

Appropriate for the upcoming holidays, Santa Baby was originally sung by Eartha Kitt in 1953 and later covered by Madonna in 1987 for a charity album. Channeling her bratty Nikki Finn vocals, Madonna has no problem telling Santa what items are on her wishlist.

Eartha Kitt's Original Version

Madonna's Version

* Santa Baby has also been covered by Maria Muldaur, Everclear, RuPaul, Kate Ceberano, Taylor Horn, Shakira, Jhene, Macy Gray, Natalie Merchant, Faith Evans, Boney James, Kylie Minogue, The Pussycat Dolls, LeAnn Rimes, Kellie Pickler, Mae West, Taylor Swift, The Swingle Singers, Miss Piggy, Vanessa Williams, Patti LaBelle, Rev Run, Les Paul, Chris Brown & Lauren London, Sugababes.

GEORGE CLOONEY AND MADONNA WENT ON DATE

2009-12-19T14:25:00.000-08:00

LOVE beast George Clooney went on a disastrous date with Madonna after she split with Guy Ritchie.

George, 48, who is dating Italian Goddess Elisabetta Canalis, 31, was set up with the Queen Mum of Pop, 51, by a mutual pal.

A friend of the G-Man told us: “He figured she is a smart, accomplished woman so why not give it a try? They went out for dinner in New York, but it turned out really bad. She kept trying to make jokes that weren’t at all funny the entire time and didn’t want to have a real conversation. He could not wait to get out of there.”

We’d love to have been a fly on that wall. Oh yes. *Courtesy of Daily Star

Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP Critized by Hindu Statesman For Being Too Shallow

2009-12-19T14:05:00.000-08:00

Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP caters more to the "outer" than the "inner aspect," according to acclaimed Hindu statesman Rajan Zed, who criticizes the Hollywood actress' methods to "nourish the inner aspect."

In the latest issue of her blog "GOOP - nourish the inner aspect," the Oscar Award winning actress suggests Eggnog Popsicles made with brandy and bourbon. She also endorses spiced kettlecorn made with kosher salt, cracked pepper crackers cooked with goat's milk gouda cheese, apples with walnut pesto and mushroom chips, hot toddy made with whiskey and cloves, and prosecco with cherries and thyme.

But eating those things would only cater to the "outer" aspect, Zed stated. He criticizes Paltrow's blog for being too materialistic and indulging in mundane things and shallow substances dealing with temporal and external pleasures, while claiming to "nourish the inner aspect."

He added that there were not many deep spiritual and philosophical thoughts in GOOP, which were essential part of "nourishing" the inner self.

Zed said he is offering to help Paltrow if she asked for it. *Courtesy of AllHeadlineNews

Flashback from the Archives

2009-12-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

Rare Madonna footage from the early days dancing near a pool with Christopher and Erica and throwing a tantrum near the end of the interview.

AOL Radio/ iTunes/YouTube Top Ten Lists

2009-12-18T22:19:00.000-08:00

Lists are compiled by AOL Radio listeners who voted songs on a one to five star rating.

10 Best '80s Songs

Don't Stop Believin - Journey
Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds
Take On Me - A-Ha
Thriller - Michael Jackson
When Doves Cry - Prince & The Revolution
Every Breath You Take - The Police
If You Leave - OMD
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard

Top '90s Pop Songs

Tearin' Up My Heart - NSYNC
Will You Be There - Michael Jackson
Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
Don't Speak - No Doubt
I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys
All My Life - K-Ci & JoJo
Genie In A Bottle - Christina Aguilera
I Love You Always Forever - Donna Lewis
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette

Top 10 Songs of 2009

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Down - Jay Sean
Replay - Iyaz
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Right Round - Flo Rida
Fireflies - Owl City
Watcha Say - Jason Derulo

Top Dance Songs of 2009

When Love Takes Over - David Guetta
Celebration - Madonna
Sound of Missing You - Ameerah
I Remember - Deadmau5 & Kaskade
Evacuate the Dancefloor - Cascada
Fight For You - Morgan Page
Sexy Chick - David Guetta
Let the Feelings Go - AnnaGrace
Hang On - Plumb
My Love - Airscape & Jes

iTunes released their list of the most downloaded albums of 2009.

Only By the Night - Kings of Leon
Twilight (Soundtrack) - Various Artists
The Fame - Lady Gaga
Fearless - Taylor Swift
Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King - Dave Matthews Band
The Essential Michael Jackson - Michael Jackson
The Fray - The Fray
The Blueprint 3 - Jay Z
Relapse - Eminem
The E.N.D. - Black Eyed Peas

Top YouTube Music Videos of 2009

Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
Love Story - Taylor Swift
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Circus - Britney Spears
Sober - Pink
Evacuate the Dancefloor - Cascada
New Divide - Linkin Park
Paparazzi - Lady Gaga

Restrictions placed on Ritchie pub

2009-12-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Guy Ritchie's business partner has insisted that their Mayfair pub would be an "asset to the community" as a series of licence restrictions were imposed on the venue.

The film director co-owns The Punch Bowl in Mayfair, west London, which has been bombarded with 70 complaints about rowdy drunken crowds over the past 18 months.

Well-heeled residents in the area say that when the pub came under new management in May 2008 it became a magnet for the paparazzi and crowds hoping to catch a glimpse of famous clientele.

On Thursday City of Westminster Council imposed various working conditions on the venue including customers not being allowed to drink outside after 8pm and smokers being restricted to a certain area after that time. Staff also have to make hourly checks outside for glasses and litter.

The move was made in response to a series of complaints by people living around the pub about noise levels, broken glass and crowds of up to 150 people spilling out and drinking in the middle of the road.

The pub is on a tour bus route and private parties have been held there, including Ritchie's 40th birthday party in September last year, jamming the road with traffic and increasing demand for an already oversubscribed venue, they maintained.

Speaking after the hearing Piers Adam, a director of the pub along with Ritchie and Guy Pelly, welcomed the council's decision.

He said: "Westminster has shown complete impartiality and now we can move on and be a good asset to the community." *Courtesy of the Press Association

MADONNA SHUNS SEX FOR SHOES

2009-12-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

Madonna prefers buying new shoes to having sex, according to footwear designer Jimmy Choo.

Renowned designer Jimmy Choo says the 'Celebration' hitmaker - who was previously married to director Guy Ritchie and actor Sean Penn - admitted she loves his creations far more than getting intimate with the men in her life.

He said: "Madonna told me that buying a pair of my shoes is more satisfying than having sex with a man.

"At least you know they are going to last for ever!"

It seems 51-year-old Madonna - who is currently dating model Jesus Luz, 23 - has had a change of attitude to sex since her marriage to Guy ended.

Before their split, she boasted about their "amazing" love life.

She said: "I don't know who told you that having children and getting married means there is no erotica in your life. Our sex life is amazing. But I had to marry someone as tough as me. Guy's definitely tough. I had to marry a challenge, otherwise I would just get bored. Whatever else Guy is, he's never boring. He can be intolerant."

Madonna has four children, daughters Lourdes, 13, and Mercy, four, and sons Rocco, nine, and David, four. *Courtesy of contactmusic.com

Guy Ritchie & Rocco Are Premiere Pals

2009-12-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

Guy Ritchie and his 9-year-old son Rocco were pictured at the Sherlock Holmes premiere in New York City on Thursday (December 17). Rocco's mom is Guy's ex-wife, pop star Madonna.

After their split, Ritchie was quoted saying loving words about his ex.

"Madonna is a fantastic and loving mother who cares deeply about her own children, and children who may need additional help and support. She is a great mum.”

Ritchie directed Sherlock Holmes, which stars Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law. The film hits theaters on Christmas Day. *Courtesy of celebritybabyscoop

Audioshop of the year award goes to: Sticky and Sweet Tour DVD

2009-12-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Here is a clip of the most overrated, overproduced, and grotesquely edited concert Madonna has released to date. Whoever edited this tour should be fired immediately, if not sooner. Screaming fans are muted for most of it and of course turned up at all the right moments. Her post-recorded vocals do not match up with her lips and is obvious in certain parts when the camera is still on her. In other parts, the camera cuts away, down and around or to the side in a most dizzying array of what is known as funhouse clown angles. I guess sometimes it's better to just cut away. Besides understanding the fact that this is not what she sounds like in concert, there is a small glitch of reality meets illusion around the 3:00 minute mark, where all who have any doubts will have their hearing justified. Or is it damaged? And as we watch this trainwreck of concert footage, we can't help but think of all the talented mucisians in the world who may have also seen this and are still laughing about it. Laughing at this woman who can't bear to release reality on film and who also thinks she is a 'rock god' guitar player because she has learned four chords over the years.

We remember a time as die-hards when even if we didn't care for a particular album or even a song, the one thing we could always fall back on was her concerts. Madonna used to have the best concerts in the world. Key words being used to.

Madonna GMTV Interview

2009-12-17T11:27:00.000-08:00

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-12-17T11:15:00.000-08:00

" Sean Penn asked me never to see Shanghai Surprise. He said, 'As a friend, don't watch it.' So I never will." -Chrissie Hynde

Madge-isms

2009-12-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

"I prefer effeminate looking men and young boys. There are a lot of very sweet Puerto Rican boys where I live, and if it outrages people when we go out together that's fine by me. Fifteen or sixteen-year old boys are the best and I like smooth men who aren't afraid to show their emotions and cry. I want to caress a nice smooth body, not a hulk." -Madonna

Ray of Fright!

2009-12-17T10:54:00.001-08:00

Madonna, Guy O, and of course Ingrid sometime in the 90's, we presume, and yelling about something we know for sure!

Madonna lets Guy Ritchie take the kids on Christmas day

2009-12-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

GUY Ritchie says he can’t wait to spend Christmas day with his children after former wife Madonna agreed to let him take them.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie, who divorced last year, came to an amicable agreement so that Guy could spend Christmas day with his kids.

A source said: “Guy is really pleased, and cannot quite believe he and Madonna came to such an amicable arrangement.”

And Guy can’t wait to spoil Rocco, nine, and David, four, with presents and a traditional Christmas lunch.

The source told the Daily Mirror: “When Guy and Madonna were together they didn’t really celebrate Christmas Day due to Madonna’s staunch Kabbalah beliefs.

“Now that he’s a single man, Guy is determined to spoil them rotten and give the youngsters a Christmas they’ll never forget.” *Courtesy of ok.co.uk

Madonna: " She's Me- I'm A Copy Machine"

2009-12-17T10:05:00.001-08:00

While the rest of us get to experience the natural progession of aging, Madonna turns 35 again every year according to her Ka-blah beliefs. Next to lying to oneself, apparently this mystical, magical system also promotes living in the past. In the last year or so she has taken up with Tony Ward junior, and her magazine spreads are as 90's as one can get without actually getting into a time machine. In Madonna's world, we are not approaching the year 2010, but 1990. Isn't there supposed to come a time in one's journey through life where they leave it all behind and outgrow stages? Let's just hope there isn't a SEX book sequel-senior citizen style.

Madonna stars in new Dolce & Gabbana campaign for Vanity Fair

2009-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Madonna has starred in a new campaign for Dolce & Gabbana, posing as a glamorous housewife in the Italian edition of Vanity Fair.

The black and white photoshoot sees the 51-year-old star doing the washing up while wearing an expensive leopard print frock.

Designer Stefano Gabbana was thrilled to announce Madonna as the face of the spring summer 2010 range. Speaking from the shoot in New York at the time, he said: “The campaign with Madonna is beautiful. We are at the last shot. Madonna is simply beautiful. We're very, very tired but very happy as well.

“To have Madonna in our campaign is a dream come true.”

Earlier this month, Madonna was replaced as the face of Louis Vuitton by a younger model.

Lara Stone, the 25-year-old girlfriend of David Walliams, will feature in the label's Spring/Summer 2010 campaign. *Courtesy of mirror.co.uk

Madonna's Daughter Lourdes: Our Favorite Little Fashionista

2009-12-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

Last night the Golden Globe-nominated musical Nine had its latest premiere in New York City. Of course, the film's beautiful ladies were all there—Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Penélope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Fergie—but it was Madonna's 13-year-old daugther, Lourdes Leon, we were most surprised and excited to see.

The mother-daughter team did it up in Dolce & Gabbana. Madge channeled late-'90s Madonna, while Lourdes clearly went for '80s Madonna and looked awesome.

The leather jacket, short lacey skirt and Doc Martens are something we've seen the young Hollywood kids do (ahem, Taylor Momsen), but not one of them has made it look as effortless or as cool as Lourdes does. We don't even envy her for having her pick of the 2010 Dolce & Gabbana runway collection at the age of 13. Take whatever you want, Lola, just keep on being cool. * courtesy of Eonline

Top Northern American Touring Acts

2009-12-17T08:41:00.000-08:00

Dave Matthews Band - $529.1 million
Celine Dion- $522.1 million
Kenny Chesney- $434.4 million
The Rolling Stones- $426.9 million
Bruce Springsteen- $416.4 million
U2- $390.9 million
Madonna- $325.4 million
The Eagles- $313.2 million
Elton John- $288.1 million
Elton John/Billy Joel- $262.6 million

A list Madonna finally made! Stunning for a woman who hasn't had a relevant single or album in ten years. This is the part where die-hards chime in that Madonna's two-part Sticky and Sweet Tour was the highest grossing concert of all time, of 2009 and so on.

The SS Tour grossed a total of $408 million with the majority of the profits coming from North America. Even with this astounding number, Madonna is still beaten by Bruce Springsteen, The Rolling Stones, Kenny Chesney, Celine Dion and the Dave Matthews Band.

Currently, Madonna does NOT hold the title of highest grossing tour of all time. The Rolling Stones, A Bigger Bang Tour does, grossing $558 million.

Madge-isms

2009-12-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

"Sandra is a brilliant woman who has a lot of talent and I had some great times with her. And in the end the reason that most friendships fall apart is envy, jealousy, those kinds of things. But I'm not going to fall into the same trap that she has and slag her off. There are a lot of insticts in me that want to, because she's said some really nasty things, but I can tell you that there was a huge misunderstanding." -Madonna

Move Over Bella. . . Will the Real Vampire Please Stand Up?

2009-12-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

Step to the side mutherf**kers, the Head Vampire is back in town and there's gonna be hell to pay.

Unless you have disconnected from reality, you have heard of the phenomenon surrounding the "Twilight" movies: a vampire falls for a human and protects her, though deep down he really wants to kill her. Ah, the makings of a true love story. And we can think of the perfect person suited for this role. In fact, she has been living it for the last 25 years. She likes em' really young, drains everyone she meets, and is obsessed with eternal youth and beauty. So if Madonna's relationship with 'Baby Hey-zoos' doesn't work out, we say she definitely has a career with Robert Pattinson and the rest of the "Twilight" gang.

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-12-15T08:39:00.001-08:00

" I think she's really beautiful. I don't think she can sing, though." - Ali Campbell of UB40

Nielsen Soundscan Lists also declare: Madonna Irrelevant Since 2000

2009-12-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

Top 40 Albums Of the Decade

The Beatles- 1
'NSync- No Strings Attached
Norah Jones- Come Away With Me
Eminem- The Marshal Mathers LP
Eminem- The Eminem Show
Usher- Confessions
Linkin Park- Hybrid Theory
Creed- Human Clay
Britney Spears- Oops! I Did it Again
Nelly- Country Grammar
50 Cent- Get Rich or Die Tryin'
O Brother, Where Art Thou?- Soundtrack
Evanescence- Fallen
Nickelback- All the Right Reasons
Santana- Supernatural
Enya- A Day Without Rain
Carrie Underwood- Some Hearts
Shaggy- Hotshot
Avril Lavigne- Let Go
Limp Bizkit- Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Watered
Nelly- Nellyville
Creed- Weathered
Alicia Keys- Songs in A Minor
Kelly Clarkson- Breakaway
Tim McGraw- Greatest Hits
Dixie Chicks- Home
Mariah Carey- The Emancipation of Mimi
Green Day- American Idiot
Josh Groban- Closer
Linkin Park- Meteora
OutKast- Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
Dixie Chicks- Fly
Staind- Break the Cycle
3 Doors Down- The Better Life
Nickelback- Silver Side Up
Pink- Missundazstood
Backstreet Boys- Black & Blue
Shania Twain- Up!
Dr. Dre- 2001
50 Cent- The Massacre

Top 10 Radio Songs of the Decade

Nickelback- How You Remind Me
Train- Drops of Jupiter
Lifehouse- Hanging By A Moment
Faith Hill- Breathe
3 Doors Down- Kryptonite
Faith Hill- The Way You Love Me
Lee Ann Womack- I Hope You Dance
The Calling- Wherever You Will Go
Santana- Smooth
Hoobastank- The Reason

Top 10 Digital Songs of the Decade

Flo Rida- Low
Lady Gaga- Just Dance
Jason Mraz- I'm Yours
Timbaland- Apologize
Black Eyed Peas- Boom Boom Pow
Soulja Boy Tell em'- Crank That (Soulja Boy)
Lady Gaga- Pokerface
Coldplay- Viva La Vida
Taylor Swift- Love Story
Katy Perry- Hot N Cold

NS collects data throughout the US and Canada on a weekly basis and is also the sales source for Billboard music charts, making it the official source of sales in the music industry.

Another source is declaring Madonna hasn't been relevant for at least a decade. While we may have been late getting off the 'crazy train', we are surprised that the same industry that has featured her career in so many facets publicly are now telling the world she is smoke and mirrors.

Snoop Dogg wants to team up with Madonna, Rolling Stones

2009-12-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

Rapper Snoop Dogg has revealed that he would love to team up with the likes of Madonna and Rolling Stones.

The 38-year-old singer, who has previously collaborated with Willie Nelson and Justin Timberlake, said he was keen on sharing the record with someone 'bigger' than him.

"I wanna be on a track where I'm not the big one," Contactmusic quoted him as telling Nylon Guys magazine.

"I wanna do a Madonna or a Rolling Stones or a Quincy Jones - something where their name is bigger than mine. Something where it's like, 'Wow, I can't believe Snoop Dogg is on a track with Rascal Flatts!'" he added. *courtesy of DNA

When You Care Enough To See The Very Worst

2009-12-14T06:15:00.000-08:00

The phrase “Madonna Film Festival” more likely sends movie fans running for the hills rather than lining up at the box office. Oh, if only her film career had as many hits as her day job.

The festival is showing all the movies one would expect to see at a film festival celebrating Ms. Ciccone’s cinematic talents, including 1987’s “Who’s That Girl,” 2002’s “Swept Away” and 1993’s “Body of Evidence.”

Of course, no Maddy film festival would be complete without a showing of “Shanghai Surprise,” the 1986 celluloid disaster starring the Material Girl and then-husband Sean Penn.

Central Cinema describes the festival as “A five week exploration of how the world’s greatest pop star became the world’s worst actress.”

That’s a sentiment the folks behind the Razzies can agree with. The annual tribute to bad cinema named Madonna its “All Time Worst ‘Actress’” for having achieved 15 noms and 9 wins. And yes, the Razzie honor does include quotation marks around the word “actress.”

But you can’t fault the lady for trying, and we’re sure there’s plenty of cinematic gold in Madonna’s film achievements. That is, if you spend enough time looking for it. Fortunately, Central Cinema gives you five weeks to strike pay dirt. * courtesy of pollstar

Mariah Carey hopes to conquer Madonna with new tour

2009-12-14T06:04:00.000-08:00

Mariah Carey's latest album may have been a dud, but that's not stopping her from going on tour. She will kick off her "Angels Advocate" tour New Years Eve at Madison Square Garden. She will then play small venues and is rumored to kick off a much bigger stadium tour in the US this Spring.

Mariah is rumored to be kicking off her US stadium tour at Giant's Stadium in New Jersey sometime in May. She will then supposedly move to Chicago and do a two night stand at Soldier Field. Other stadiums rumored to be part of the Angels Advocate World Tour: Dodger's Stadium in Los Angeles; Fenway Park in Boston; and Shea Stadium in New York City. "Mariah will conquer Madonna's recent tour in terms of attendance numbers and production," a source in the Mariah camp tells us.

We somehow can't imagine Mariah Carey filling up stadiums. However, cardboard humans, often used for movie sets, may become useful at a Mariah Carey concert. *courtesy of examiner.com

Madge-isms

2009-12-14T05:55:00.000-08:00

*photo taken by Boy George

"Boy George makes me sick." - Madonna

Rolling Stone: 50 Best Songs of the Decade

2009-12-14T05:15:00.000-08:00

Crazy- Gnarls Barkley 2006
99 Problems- Jay-Z 2003
Crazy in Love- Beyonce feat. Jay-Z 2003
Hey Ya!- OutKast 2003
Paper Planes- M.I.A. 2007
Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes 2003
Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeahs 2003
Rehab- Amy Winehouse 2006
Beautiful Day- U2 2000
Stan- Eminem 2000
Time To Pretend- MGMT 2008
Lose Yourself- Eminem 2002
In Da Club- 50 Cent 2003
Get Ur Freak On- Missy Elliott 2001
Hurt- Johnny Cash 2002
Last Nite- The Strokes 2001
Mississippi- Bob Dylan 2001
Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson 2004
Jesus Walks- Kanye West 2004
Cry Me a River- Justin Timberlake 2002
B.O.B.- OutKast 2000
1 Thing- Amerie 2005
Umbrella- Rihanna 2007
Everything in its Right Place- Radiohead 2000
Work It- Missy Elliott 2002
Clocks- Coldplay 2003
Such Great Heights- The Postal Service 2003
A Few Words In Defense of Our Country- Randy Newman 2007
Gold Digger- Kanye West 2005
Ignition (Remix)- R. Kelly 2003
Do You Realize??- The Flaming Lips 2002
Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand 2004
One More Time- Daft Punk 2001
Yellow- Coldplay 2000
The Rising- Bruce Springsteen 2002
Moment of Surrender- U2 2009
Losing My Edge- LCD Soundsystem 2002
Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz 2001
Float On- Modest Mouse 2004
Milkshake- Kelis 2003
All My Friends- LCD Soundsystem 2007
Wake Up- Arcade Fire 2004
The Seed (2.0)- The Roots 2002
Toxic- Britney Spears 2003
Can't Get You Out of My Head- Kylie Minogue 2001
Kids- MGMT 2008
American Idiot- Green Day 2004
Mr. Brightside- The Killers 2004
The Rat- The Walkman 2004
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)- Beyonce 2008

Once again, our former "Lady Of Perpetual Commotion" was deemed irrelevant for yet another countdown list of the decade. Madonna's singles since 2000 have been ignored. But these two lists aren't the only ones she was left off.

Meet Madonna, the real prima donna

2009-12-14T05:10:00.000-08:00

British TV channels recently got a taste of Madonna’s celebrity status as the pop diva threw tantrums on almost everything – even insisting that the air-conditioning be turned off since “it could affect her vocal chords”.

Madonna, who came to the GMTV studio for an interview during her recent trip to London, objected to anything that was not in line with her liking.

“We knew Madonna was tough but had no idea she was quite so exacting. We had had specifications on lighting and camera angles before she arrived,” the Mirror quoted a TV source as saying.

The source said: “But she took one look at the chair and complained it was the wrong colour.

The hitmaker then fussed over the red lighting.

The insider revealed: “Everyone was stuck in this room sweating under the TV lights while we waited for her to give the thumbs up.

“We had been warned not to turn on the aircon because it could affect her vocal cords. It was ridiculous.”

And more “brusque” behaviour from the star followed.

The source added: “She had a string of interviews lined up and seemed to get more fractious as the day wore on.

“The poor woman from Japan stood no chance and was seen looking forlorn in foyer. She said Madge had barely answered any of her questions and had been really sharp with her.”

However, Madonna’s spokeswoman ignored all the reports of offhand behaviour by the star.

She said: “Madonna was an ultimate professional throughout her day of interviews. And her favourite one was GMTV.” *courtesy of newspost online

Guy Ritchie to open pub in New York

2009-12-14T05:04:00.000-08:00

British director Guy Ritchie is planning to open a pub in New York on the advice of his American actor friends who are regular at his London bar, the Punch Bowl.

Ritchie’s London drinking haunt the Punch Bowl has become a popular destination for actors and pop stars and he is confident he could turn it into a global chain with the first new venue being opened in New York, reported contactmusic.com

“Guy spends a lot of time there with American actors when they’re in London for premieres or for shoots. They all reckon he could branch out and make the pub a global brand. Guy sees the potential, said a source.

The director received the pub as part of his divorce settlement from ex-wife Madonna in 2008. *courtesy of Entertainment Daily

The Mouth Buys Another Property

2009-12-13T03:07:00.000-08:00

Just earlier this year Madonna - the woman who lives inside her several illusionary homes while being surrounded and catered by the illusionary staff - bought a modest little $US32 million Upper East Side townhouse.

The supposedly immaterial girl is reportedly expanding her property portfolio with the new purchase in the Hamptons, a star-studded vacation spot. According to reports, she has purchased a Bridgehampton horse farm for under $10 million. Wild Ocean Farm, currently owned by Kelly Klein, wife of fashion mogul Calvin Klein, boasts 30 acres of land.

The property has extensive horse facilities, including indoor and outdoor arenas, but no house. Though it is unclear if Madonna wants to build something on the property, we wouldn't be surprised if she'd throw out another imaginary $10 million for a "tiny" cottage. After all she looks so tired these days and her sore muscles need the rest - you know, it's a long ride to hell and back.
To celebrate this moment, we have a little quiz. Above there is two pictures (just incase you think it's a mirror image). Now select either A, B, C or D - then see if you got it right!
a) Madonna on the right, horse on the left.

b) Horse on the left, Madonna on the right.

c) Who are you trying to kid? They're both M, just a different year!

d) It's a disgrace to compare a fantastic creature with white trash!

*There are no wrong answers to this quiz.

Rolling Stone "Top 50" Lists Declare: Madonna Irrelevant Since 2000

2009-12-12T16:34:00.000-08:00

As you will remember, Madonna appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine back in October 2009 and we here at Madonna Revelations featured some of the rather questionable Q and A between this magazine and the icon herself. Cutting to the chase: they kissed her butt and she made up answers as she went along.

As this year comes to a close, Rolling Stone magazine has decided for its December issue to send this decade off with two explosive countdown lists: 50 Best Albums of the Decade and 50 Best Songs of the Decade.

Absent from both lists is Madonna. And I don't mean absent in a way that I am trying to trick you into pulling up rollingstone.com so you can find one song or one album as you breathe a sigh of relief. These lists don't acknowledge any of her work since the year 2000. It's as if she hasn't existed for the last ten years, clearly indicating that Rolling Stone (as well as the industry) considers her albums Music, American Life, Confessions on A Dancefloor and Hard Candy completely irrelevant. And not just currently irrelevant, but decade-long irrelevant.

Regardless of our personal opinion of the magazine, many twenty and thirty-somethings still flip religiously through this magazine, considering it a prophetic guru of sorts as it guides them towards their next musical direction. The artists who made these lists were not chosen by stopping random people outside a Starbucks asking them to fill out a questionaire. As it states in Rolling Stone, "The most important music of the 00's as chosen by more than 100 artists, critics and industry insiders." So in other words, albums and songs were chosen by the artists' peers. People who are in the industry-one way or another.

As I sat in shock over the fact that the icon we used to love sat invisible and mute for the last ten years, according to RS, I also felt a twinge of sadness as I tried to recall just how many Rolling Stone covers she has been on since the year 2000. Of course there was the most recent one: an appearance from a friendly ghost of the 80's past, celebrating her GH's career of the last 25 years, which went virtually ignored. Immediately after, I thought of the 2000 "Music" pic cover- M holding her guitar with her cowboy hat on, still looking human with feeling in her eyes. And then, as hard as I tried I could not remember any others between 00-09. So I had to look them up. Madonna has been on the cover of Rolling Stone a total of 12 times-3 of them are after the year 2000. Okay, technically two of them are after the year 2000.

RS Covers 2000, 2005, 2009

Interesting and yet somewhat strange is the fact they will put her face on the cover, yet they haven't really 'covered' her music in like, well, ten years according to them. Madonna is a has-been of the 90's according to these lists, this magazine and over one hundred musicians, critics and insiders. And there you have it. Perhaps even more shocking than anything Madonna could say, do or sing about is the fact that she has been on a "reject streak" for ten years now and counting and mainstream is finally admitting it. More like omitting it. . .her. But this is not really news to those paying attention to her steadily declining record sales. And as most of the world stands on the runway flagging her down, Madonna pretends not to notice and refuses to come in for a landing.

A couple more weeks until another new year starts and in more ways than one, it really is the end of an era.

Here are the relevant artists from 2000-2009:

50 Best Albums of the Decade

Radiohead- Kid A 2000
The Strokes- Is This It 2001
Wilco- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot 2001
Jay-Z- The Blueprint 2001
The White Stripes- Elephant 2003
Arcade Fire-Funeral 2004
Eminem-The Marshall Mathers LP 2000
Bob Dylan-Modern Times 2006
M.I.A.-Kala 2007
Kayne West- The College Dropout 2004
Bob Dylan-Love and Theft 2001
LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver 2007
U2-All That You Can't Leave Behind 2000
Jay-Z-The Black Album 2003
Bruce Springsteen-The Rising 2002
OutKast-Stankonia 2000
Beck-Sea Change 2002
MGMT-Oracular Spectacular 2008
The White Stripes-White Blood Cells 2001
Amy Winehouse-Back to Black 2007
Coldplay-A Rush of Blood to the Head 2002
Green Day-American Idiot 2004
D'Angelo-Voodoo 2000
Bruce Springsteen-Magic 2007
Radiohead-Amnesiac 2001
Cat Power-The Greatest 2006
The Flaming Lips- Yoshimi Battles and the Pink Robots 2002
Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Fever To Tell 2003
Sigur Ros-Agaetis Byrjun 2000
Radiohead-In Rainbows 2007
My Morning Jacket-Z 2005
Lil Wayne-Tha Carter III 2008
Daft Punk-Discovery 2001
OutKast-Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 2003
PJ Harvey-Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea 2000
U2-No Line on the Horizon 2009
50 Cent-Get Rich or Die Tryin' 2003
Ryan Adams-Heartbreaker 2000
Kings of Leon-Aha Shake Heartbreak 2005
Kanye West- Late Registration 2005
Arctic Monkeys-Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not 2006
Elliott Smith-Figure 8 2000
The Killers-Hot Fuss 2004
System of a Down-Toxicity 2001
Kayne West-Graduation 2007
Justin Timberlake-FutureSex/LoveSounds 2006
Fleet Foxes-Fleet Foxes 2008
TV on the Radio-Dear Science 2008
Fiona Apple-Extraordinary Machine 2005
Bright Eyes-I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning 2005

*stay tuned for 50 Best Songs of the Decade. . .coming soon.

Madge-isms

2009-12-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

"I have resolved my Electra complex. The end of the 'Oh Father' video, where I'm dancing on my mother's grave, is an attempt to embrace my mother's death. I had to deal with the loss of my mother and then I have to deal with the guilt of her being gone and then I had to deal with the loss of my father when he married my step mother. So I was just one angry, abandoned little girl. I'm still angry. Geffen sent me to a shrink." -Madonna

Madonna Is No Spring Chicken For LV

2009-12-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

After two seasons with Madonna, Louis Vuitton is returning to models for its ads. The French luxury house has chosen Lara Stone as the brand's new face for Spring 2010. With her gap-toothed sexpot looks and curves, Stone may just be the girl to break the ultra-skinny model cycle.

Louis Vuitton's communication director, Antoine Arnault, summed up the switch, saying: "After two seasons with such a huge star, Marc Jacobs decided to take a breather and work with a model - and not just any model. It's the choice of a new supermodel."

Meanwhile Jacobs, Vuitton's artistic director, stated: "After our successful collaboration with Madonna, we are very happy to be working once again with photographer Steven Meisel on the Louis Vuitton Spring/Summer 2010 fashion campaign. Because the collection loosely took its cues from the idea of the New Age traveler, we decided to create a green, outdoorsy set that would evoke a spirit of peace and love. To model the clothes, we wanted a modern, iconic, sexy beauty... It had to be Lara Stone, " Jacobs added.

Ouch! When a friend says that you are no longer modern, iconic and sexy, it must hit the nerves. Not to mention that the New Age Priestess isn't good enough to pose as a new age traveler! Well from our point of view, Jacobs was only telling the truth. Madonna has fallen off the modern wagon quite a while ago and though she may still be an icon, her sex appeal is more than questionable.

In the last campaign for Louis Vuitton, Madonna was photoshopped beyond recognition. Perhaps it was a stylistic decision but when you put together all the other stuff Madonna's camp did (to not show her face) you have to question if it was a conscious decision to hide her real face. From the latest pics we would evaluate that the work on her face didn't turn out too good. Even plastic surgery doesn't seem to be working.

What also raises some eyebrows here at Madonna Revelations is the picture Louis Vuitton calls "green, outdoorsy set that would evoke a spirit of love and peace". If you take a look at the picture above it is far away from being green and outdoorsy, even further away from the spirit of love and peace. Lara Stone looks like she was either hit by a car on her walk home, or simply attacked, beaten, raped and thrown on the side of a road. If one calls that "love and peace", we don't wanna see what "war and destruction" would be. I guess all is allowed in the world of fashion photography? Just like it seems to be in the Madonnaland. We can't wait to see her new photoshopped pictures for Dolce & Gabbana spring 2010 campaign. I wonder what is the inspiration of their collection: granma's knittings and quilts? They can photograph Madonna through the small holes in the handmade materials... Oops! =)

Madpie's Letter To Readers

2009-12-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

The year 2009 is almost over. Like many people, I too look back at the year behind with mixed emotions. Since I launched Madonna Revelations into the worldwide web with my co-editor Carmel, we have managed to reveal a lot, say a lot, heal alot, scream alot, also bitch alot. And all of it has been necessary and natural.

Detoxing from your idol is never easy. This may seem ridiculous to those who have never idolized anyone to such degree but those who have and those who stand with us today after a similar journey know what we are talking about. Being a diehard fan is a form of addiction. It does not allow criticism against the target of worship. The words of the idol become the core, the only truth, blinding and coloring all else. It's like a drunk talking to the little green men on his whiskey glass: reality and illusions get tangled and become a one experience, a search for momentary rush, a quest for satisfaction through something you can never reach. And by that time, you don't even see it clearly. There is a big difference between admiration and idolization. Admiring someone can be healthy. Losing your identity into blind worship is not.

In order to walk away from the addiction, you need more than just wishful thinking. You need determination, bunch of very good reasons, support, tons of courage and above all faith and will to stay on the new path. You need an unbreakable spirit, a new voice, growing philosophy to live by. And a mind of your own.

Sometimes it takes time to connect the dots. The latter is especially true with someone like Madonna who has build her whole image on disguises. But the task of discovering her is not impossible. After the journey so far, we know we are yet again closer to the truth of who she is and what kind she is.

Be prepared for 2010. Madonna Revelations is about to unload some heavy stuff in addition to continuing all of our current features. Some topics are going to be demanding of nature. This will inevitably cause some opposition. But we shall handle it like everything up to this point: you make up your own mind based on what you see. We simply offer you information, entertainment and support.

Madpie
Editor of Madonna Revelations

P.S. "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" still gives me the chills, it is my "farewell song". Partial lyrics below:

It’s quiet as it is tonight
You’d almost think you were saved
Your eyes are full of surprises
They cannot predict my fate
Waiting underneath the stars
There’s something you should know
The angels they surround my heart
Telling me to let you go

I bet you couldn’t
I bet you couldn’t recognize but I’ve been hidin’ to it
Who am I to criticize
Somehow I’ll get through it and you won’t even realize
Falling through your own disguise

It’s like over and over
You’re pushing me right down to the floor
I should just walk away
Over and over I keep on coming back for more
I play into your fantasy
Now that it’s over
You can lie to me right through your smile
I’ve seen behind your eyes
Now I’m sober
The more intoxicating my mind

Even the devil wouldn’t recognize you, I do
I do, I do

You almost proved yourself this time
That all the saints be praised
You hide your sadness behind your smile
And you keep your lost heartbreaks
The steps that are just on the ledge
Is much higher than it seems
That I’ve been on that ledge before
You can’t hide yourself from me

*This is not the last post of the year!

Madonna prepares for new album?

2009-12-09T11:51:00.000-08:00

Madonna finally seems like Madonna again. She has lost the British accent, the talentless British husband, lives in New York City, and is actually smiling again. She looks like she has gained some badly needed weight as well.

Madonna is about to start recording her new album. David Guetta (Black Eyed Peas) has bragged about working on some of the tracks. The only other confirmed producer is Brendan O'Brien (Pearl Jam and Bruce Springsteen). We are far more excited about Brendan O'Brien than David Guetta.

It's a perfect time for Madonna to start working on a new album. Recent albums from fellow divas Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey have failed to live up to any hype. *courtesy of examiner.com

** Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage not working out does not simply render him talentless. He was an ambitious career minded indivdual long before they were married. As for Madonna "seeming" like herself again, we have yet to see the proof. And before one starts criticizing other artists, they may want to do some homework and check the record sales of Madonna's last couple releases. Her latest "greatest hits" CD spanning a 25 year career is outsold by her Erotica, American Life and Hard Candy albums. Some people fail to understand that what Madonna sells today is "nostalgia", not current hits. And even that overplayed notion is wearing thin.

Madge-isms

2009-12-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

"I'd thought I'd made a terrible mistake. I went home after that first day thinking, 'It's hopeless. I can't sing at all. I'm useless.'"-Madonna

Tom Ford: 'We were not waiting for Madonna'

2009-12-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

She was the surprise guest of honor Sunday night at the screening of Tom Ford's drama A Single Man at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. But Madonna was late. Very late. And so, the film rolled without her in the audience.

"We were called at 7:30. And then we changed it to 7:45 and we let everyone know. We always intended to start at eight. And we actually started without Madonna," Ford told USA TODAY Monday. "She came in after the movie had started. She's a friend of mine and I wasn't going to hold the film for Madonna. We were not waiting for Madonna." *courtesy of usatoday

Ray of Fright!

2009-12-09T10:12:00.001-08:00

There isn't anything wrong with growing old. It's when a person refuses to grow old gracefully and spends her time fighting the aging process in the limelight that is the problem. You're not 25 anymore....hell, you're not even 35 anymore. . . and there's nothing wrong with this. But the way you're doing it is backwards. If you spent more time on matters of the heart instead of matters of the face, you'd accept yourself as you are.

Madonna Talks About Dance-Off With Lady Gaga

2009-12-09T09:56:00.000-08:00

A dance-off between Madonna and Lady Gaga would be one of the more exhilarating events to take place in the world of pop music — and according to Madge herself, it actually went down a couple of weeks back. Unfortunately, there's apparently no video available, but Madonna described it to British morning TV show GMTV.

"We had a party in New York a couple of weeks ago for my manager [Guy Oseary]," she told host Ben Shepard. "It was for his birthday and Lady Gaga was there and the DJ basically did a sort of a dance-off. The DJ would play one of her songs and then he would play one of mine and we both danced together in the middle and all of my dancers were around us. We just took turns dancing, too. I would dance to her song and sing all the words and she did the same to me. It was really fun."

The dance floor extravaganza wouldn't be the first time the two got together for a little friendly competition. The singers performed in a sketch together on "Saturday Night Live" back in October. They appeared during the "Deep House Dish" segment, a disco-based talk show. (According to Page Six, the friendly competition continued into Sunday morning.) The pair could have staged a pop-and-lock throwdown recently, as Gaga was also in the U.K. singing for the Queen. *courtesy of mtv.com

** How relieved we are that there is NOT a clip of the dance-off between Madonna and Lady Gaga. If it was anything like the embarassing skit they did on SNL, we can only say that they reached new heights of being "retarded." No thanks, we'll pass.

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-12-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

"The worst Bond tune of all time." -Elton John describing Madonna's song, Die Another Day

Madonna and Courtney still feuding?

2009-12-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

Does Madonna Still Have Little Love For Courtney Love? The feud between Madonna and Courtney Love appears to continue. According to Page Six, the dueling blonde divas did not mingle at the after-party for Tom Ford’s movie, “A Single Man,” on Sunday. But a rep for the pop queen told the paper that she, “didn’t realize Courtney was there; otherwise she would have said hello.” Followed by what we can only imagine would be a series of finger gestures and maybe even a drink in the face!
*courtesy of accesshollywood

Madonna says adopted son David Banda is her biggest fan

2009-12-09T09:34:00.001-08:00

Madonna's adopted son David Banda is one of her biggest fans and likes to dress-up in her stage outfits, she has revealed.

The star, 51, told GMTV that four-year-old David, one of two children the popstar adopted from Malawi, knows the lyrics to all her chart-topping tracks.

Madge said: ''He knows every song, every word, every step, and he wants to wear all the costumes. He likes my dress that I wear in La Isla (Bonita).''

The star said Rocco, her son from her marriage to Guy Ritchie, and daughter Lourdes, from a previous relationship, were taking private lessons from her backing dancers.

She said she was ''surprised'' Rocco, nine, took to the stage at her Sticky and Sweet world tour.

''When he jumped on stage to dance in my last show I was shocked actually and secretly, unbeknownst to me, they're all studying privately with my dancers.

''Rocco comes out and busts out like a moon walk or you know, some kind of break dancing move and I'll ask him, 'Where did you get that?' He's always been quite shy so I was shocked when he wanted to be in the show.''

Lourdes, 13, appeared in Madonna's latest music video by dressing up as her mother and performing a back flip.

Madonna, who is also mother to Mercy, four, said: ''I really thought of her in a very professional way, and I didn't want to distract her.

''I checked her out a few times in the show and she looked so chilled out and laid back and nonplussed by the whole thing, that I was like, 'OK. I'm not worried about her!'''

*courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

Madge-isms

2009-12-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

"I don't sit here wondering if I'll still be making videos when I'm 50. I hope I'll have three children and that they'll be the center of my life, not being on MTV." -Madonna

Madge is top of the Vil at New York Bash

2009-12-07T09:07:00.000-08:00

DALMATIANS would have run a mile at the sight of MADONNA yesterday.

The veteran songstress was more Cruella de Vil than Queen of Pop when she stepped out in a coat designed to send shivers down the spines of spotty mutts.

Madge donned the crow-like body-warmer for a special New York screening of A Single Man, which marks the directorial debut of her designer pal TOM FORD.

Despite the nighttime setting of the occasion, Madonna still thought it necessary to wear the darkest shade of sunglasses money can buy.

Maybe she was having a bad eye day...

*courtesy of The Sun

Madonna defends fitness obsession

2009-12-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Pop star Madonna has brushed off criticism about her overly muscled body insisting she requires rigorous training to cope with her strenuous on stage dance routines.

Madonna, 51, had sparked concerns about her obsession with fitness with her prominent biceps and frequent trips to the gym, reports contactmusic.com.

‘I do it for health reasons and for aesthetic reasons. If I have to go out on stage and jump around in a pair of hot pants, I better look good. Also when I perform, I am like an athlete and I have to be in good shape,’ she said.

‘I am not panicked, I just know what my job is and I know that if I want to be able to wear whatever I want to wear on stage then my body better look good,’ she added.

*courtesy of trak.in

'Almost Human: Madonna on Film' festival celebrates bad acting

2009-12-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

She's made it big in music, but acting is not her strong point. After a promising start with "Desperately Seeking Susan," music diva Madonna's acting career took a nose dive. "Almost Human: Madonna on Film" is a comedic tribute to the five-time Golden Raspberry Award winner for worst actress.

The festival, tonight through Jan. 4, will highlight Madonna's atrocious acting each Monday at Central Cinema. Film introductions and a running commentary will be provided by host and local writer and performer David Schmader.

Films earning Madonna a Golden Raspberry Award that are featured in the festival are:

"Shanghai Surprise," tonight. A romantic comedy and adventure set in 1930s China starring Madonna and Sean Penn.

"Who's That Girl," Dec. 14. A slapstick comedy about a parolee who sets out to clear her name.

"Body of Evidence." Dec. 21. An erotic thriller starring Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and Julianne Moore.

"The Next Best Thing," Dec. 28. A gay-parenting drama turned courtroom thriller earned Madonna her fourth Golden Raspberry award for worst actress.

"Swept Away," Jan. 4. A remake of an Italian art film about a well-to-do woman on a cruise ship who is marooned on an island with a crew member she had been feuding with.

*Courtesy of Califonia Chronicle 12/07/09

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-12-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

" She looks like she stinks." -Robert Smith, lead singer of The Cure

Madge-isms

2009-12-07T08:40:00.001-08:00

"Lourdes really is the love of my life. I don't want to traipse around with nannies and tutors. I think it's important for children to stay in one place, to socialize with other children." -Madonna

M Parody: The Wheels On the Bus

2009-12-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

Dafne Gone Demented: "Take A Dump" (M Parody)

2009-12-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

Demented Dafne is back and according to our good friend Dr.Bitchslap she has made a big leap forward. In a recent sing-along therapy session she finally dealt with the last bitter encounter with her heroine. Her final act of worship was to happily attend Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet" world tour in the summer of 2009. Just before she found our blog - and we all know where that resulted...

There were several obstacles before Demented Dafne was ready to perform. A true diva herself, she didn't make things easy. She sat in the corner of her cell until Dr.Bitchslap agreed to her condition: a complete Madonna make-over. Eventually Dr.Bitchslap had to get some "f*cker sunglasses, a replica of Madonna's stage costume and a wig to match". As soon as Dafne had her costume on, she truly believed she was Madonna - and started acting like it.

When Dr.Bitchslap informed that the cruel and monsterous Warner Brothers had contacted him and denied Dafne the right to use Madonna's instrumentals in the therapy, it upset Dafne terribly. A slew of "f*** offs" and other obsceneties bounced of the walls for a good half an hour but like a real trooper she bounced back - only to present a second ultimatum. She ordered Dr.Bitchslap to get her the biggest microphone he could find. Dr.Bitchslap was puzzled and asked her "why is the size important?". Dafne looked at him in an extremely condescending way. Finally she replied: "Because Madonna doesn't go for the second best... It's all about the size you know. She wants big. I want big. Get the picture?"

Dr.Bitchslap still didn't understand but he was frustrated with how things were going, so he decided to oblige Dafne's request. On his way to store he had second thoughts and wondered if he had gone too far in his attempt to please his tormented patient. But as soon as Dafne had both her costume and her gigantic microphone in front of her, the doctor's worries flew far far away.

According to Dr.Bitchslap's notes "while performing she paraded around her tiny soft cell as if it was a huge sports arena... Dafne was on fire even though she was singing a ballad... raw emotion, the whole spectrum". Dr.Bitchslap also adds that "Dafne still has a very strong love-hate relationship with Madonna. This is very apparent at the end of the recording... when she stops singing the contradictory feelings come to surface. All is on the tape I'm sending you."

We present you Dafne's latest therapy song, feel free to sing along!

*if you want the lyrics, go to our You Tube page and see the video's description... you can also post your demented cover in response if you wish. =)

Madonna Revelations "She's Not Me -She's A Copy Machine"

2009-12-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

A collection of Miss Unoriginal - Part One. As our faithful followers of truth know, this job never ends. We could never, nor would we try, to predict how many parts there will be to this series. Madonna's flock of "sheeple" will scream she get 'inspired' by others. Unfortunately she has been inspired for over 25 years now. One would think that is quite a stretch of time to go without having an original idea. But she knows it works, that's why she is still doing it today, even in her 50's, even with her career on the downturn for the last few years or so. Her longevity is owed to all those who have gone before her. We will guesstimate that had she gone with her own ideas she most certainly would have been out of the business a couple years after she started. She sets em' up. . . we'll knock em' down. * this video does not contain every picture presented in our blog

Ray of Fright: Madonna's Facial Scars, Proof!

2009-12-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

Madonna has had surgery. No doubt about it. The images that leaked not too long ago, you can see visible scars on her cheeks where they have operated and lifted the muscle up with threads under skin. There is no other way you can get these kinds of cheeks! No wonder in all the recent videos they've either washed her face out (lighting) or zoomed in from a far or used fast camera work... not to mention touching up her photos to a point of her looking either unnatural or complete fantasy character (her campaign ads with bunny ears for Louis Vuitton). I guess we should pray for this woman to not continue this way - after all 38-years old previous Miss Argentina Solange Magnano just died on an operating table while getting her ass done. Sad. Vanity kills.

Madonna: "She's Me - I'm A Copy Machine"

2009-12-01T06:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you fall short on inspiration or you can't find anyone to rip off. When this happens, Madonna can go back in time and rip herself off. In the 90s Madonna posed for a magazine photoshoot wearing only a bra, a pair of knickers and a dog leash - and not too long ago she posed in a very similar photo, wearing the exact same bra she wore before. Handy... Though copying herself, there is a distinct difference between the two images. On the 90s image Madonna is vibrant, alive, expressive, like she used to be when we loved her. On the more recent image her eyes are dead, cold, emotionless and she is completely self-conscious yet nonchalant. Somehow she manages to be arrogant without any effort. Time and a dose of blah has surely changed this woman - and not for the better.

Joan Crawford: "She's Not Me - She's A Copy Machine"

2009-12-01T06:46:00.000-08:00

In a video for her single "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" (not a Madonna's song, it's a cover) Madonna travelled to Joan Crawford for inspiration. In the video, Madonna performs her reissued single, while the camera zooms in on her bit by bit. The outfit she is wearing differs from Joan's a bit but the overall look is still very similar. Madonna is wearing a long lace jacket, comparable in length to Joan's gown, the silhouette is the same. Madonna's hair is also done in a similar way - plus naturally the location of the video shoot, the set where she performs echoes Joan inevitably.

Björk: "She's Not Me - She's A Copy Machine"

2009-12-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

After Madonna's adventures in the world of Sex, Madonna changed her style to more subdued - of course according to her, not to compromise or save her career but instead just experimenting a different sound - well as we have learned most sounds she experimented with were not hers. For "Bedtime Story" video, Madonna had her look done very close to Icelandic star Björk's. Though she may have just wanted to make a reference to the original writer of the song, it can be placed under rip offs cos she is using someone elses ideas.

Björk has later revealed that Madonna sang the lyrics wrong on the 1995 single. The Icelandic star penned lyrics for the song, which Madonna took to number four in the charts in February 1995. However, she was surprised when she first heard Madonna's recording of the song. She told Attitude magazine: "She did her own version and wrote the lyrics wrong. I can't remember right now, but it was a really interesting mistake. It was something like "Let's say goodbye to logic and reason" and she got it wrong so that it actually meant the opposite....I was like, 'Okay...".

The lyrics to "Bedtime Story" are Björk's own criticism of Madonna's aesthetic. She said she did not write it for Madonna but wrote it as a favor for a friend. Her highness Madonna took this personally and returned the favor by putting a Björk look-a-like in her "Human Nature" video. The character is tied up, hanging from the ceiling while being ridiculed in various ways including spanking.

Björk reworked the lyrics of "Bedtime Story" and eventually released it on her own, a little later in 1995. Her version of the song was called "Sweet Intuition" and it has some of the same lyrics, but in this case Björk didn't steal anything, she was simply redoing her own song.

Björk - Sweet Intuition

Madonna: "You shall not take vengeance... but I will."

2009-12-01T05:27:00.000-08:00

Madonna’s former pal Rupert Everett has revealed that the singer has not forgiven him after he branded her an “old whiny barmaid” and published intimate secrets of their friendship in his 2006 autobiography.

The actor befriended the ‘Material Girl’ hitmaker in 1985 when she first began dating Sean Penn and, in his memoir ‘Red Carpets and Other Banana Skin’s, Everett admitted he was fascinated by her from their very first meeting.

“She really didn’t like it (the book). I think it is very affectionate, and certainly with her I was very careful to only write things that were. But she felt it was an infringement of privacy… Goddesses like that are obsessed with their public image and want to control everything about it, so if anyone is to tell anyone anything about her it’s got to be her,” he added.

Everett, who played the role of Madonna’s gay best friend in 1999’s The Next Best Thing, insists the singer has never forgiven him, adding, “Elephants don’t forget… She doesn’t trust me any more.” (ANI) ~courtesy of Entertainment Daily

*It is no surprise Madonna hasn't forgiven Rupert for his memoirs, after all she hasn't forgiven her brother Christopher for his memoirs. No need to mention all the other people she has tried to silence along the way. When one has so much dirty laundry laying around, one tends to control their image... well into a point of exhaustion which is pretty much what Madonna tries to do. If all the things came out, she would most likely lose the little shimmering shine left on her crown, she would probably fall into ridicule and oblivion and a big pool of hatred and disgust. Though we have to admit that she'll always keep the love of those who believe in her "all for me and f**k the rest" methods. Sad way to live a life really! It would be so much easier to be a better person and skip the consequnces part. But Madonna has divided people in her life in recent years, or should we say out of her life. If not for any other reasons, then for the sake of people not joining her beloved cult for company. Really mature behavior. True freedom of speech, true enlightenment... not!

The Vagina Diaries

2009-11-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

I think for Madonna, the longest relationship private or work related must be with her own cat. The devotion and dedication she shows to her pet is truly touching... and revolting. It is a shame that a person is this infantile at the age of 51. It's nothing short of a miracle actually, especially when you think of just how worldly her life has been.

The amusing detail though unintentional is the Life Magazine etiquette on the corner of this photo. It brings to mind her anthem for vaginal pleasures ("Where Life Begins"). What a wonderful tribute to eating out it was! And it surely wasn't a restaurant review - more like a bust boy review. We think she should write an updated version of the song since menopause is on her way (or more likely she's living through it). Instead of feasting on the boring topic of closing restaurants she could perhaps sing about Catherine the Great of Russia. Why, you may ask? Well, Catherine the Great took many lovers and came off pathetic and repulsive at the end of her days. Much like what Madonna is going through currently.

For all those who think we are catering ageism, we reassure you we are not. We aren't saying you should stop having sex or being sexual or sexy at the age of 50 or in any other age. But one needs to face the facts. What one was able to do in their prime, well, you just can't get away with it anymore. That's when one should wake up, be honest and make a few little adjustments. You don't need to abandon your sexuality - only tune it to suit who you are in the now.

And while some may defend Madonna, saying she is fighting against ageism and sexism, showing us that a woman of age can still be sexy and do these things... including sleeping with a boy who could easily be her son... come on you, snap out of it! Madonna isn't doing all of this for women's rights sake, by behaving this way she is only underlining that women of her age should dress and act accordingly - and in the minds of some, she is only convincing them that women should kill their sexuality and cover it all up when they hit a certain number. This is the response she gets and it's not about ageism.

You can already be sexy at any age. You just got to know how to be sexy at any age. You just have to accept your age. This is Madonna's personal fight, she refuses to adjust to changes that are taking place. But we all get old, we all need to adjust and by that time it happens we should have learned a few things so that the change won't seem like such a sacrifice. Madonna's life is going in circles and she's back in square one, having a boytoy comparable to Tony Ward (though more brainwashed) because she refuses to evolve and grow to new levels. She may preach about evolving but she never carries it out in her life (her dedication to cult beliefs do not count). Pu**y rules the world, remember? In her world, it still does - in our world, her cat is already dead.

This is why we predict Madonna will never change this carnal celebration, no matter how grotesk it will become. All one needs to do is look at her "Celebration" video. If she had a good head on her shoulders, she would have never released that video - it is utter rubbish and her wiggling is just about as far as you can get from sexy or sensual - it is like watching your granma masturbate to your favorite pop tune leaving you with scars for life. But... Mama Madolla will undoubtedly travel south again - and we ain't talking about Africa.

Adam Bites The Apple: The New Madonna?

2009-11-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

I acknowledge the talent of Adam Lambert. He is one of the most gifted emerging male vocalists. Adam has spoken about the events leading to the cancellation of his appearance on Good Morning America, both defended himself and at the same time expressed a veiled apology. I believe him when he says that the things he did were not rehearsed. It was nothing like the infamous Britney/Christina kiss Madonna performed at the 2003 VMA's, though I cannot overlook the fact that it had the same shock element. He did repeat just about all the tricks in the Madonna guidebook, but it didn't come off as calculated. A confessed Madonna fan himself, I am sure he doesn't mind the comparison. However, his talk about "freedom of speech and artistic expression" brought nothing less than Madonna, Rome, Vatican and Blond Ambition tour to mind. No points for that one, though perhaps in this case it was proper to use such words cos obviously he was being censored.

As a gay person myself, I don't feel insulted by Adam's behavior on stage while at the same time I have to admit his stunt was not necessary - he has the talent Madonna never had so he doesn't need to do these things in order to make an impact. On the other hand I understand his point of view, the song is very sexual and strong and he wanted to live it out.

I do not understand the uproar his performance has caused. Madonna, the biggest slut in the show business has been on Good Morning America. It didn't seem to matter then that she had masturbated on stage, simulated orgies with both men and women, posed in a fantasy book where she even depicts sex with a dog. I mean, the only thing that would shock us at this point would be her moving into porn business and producing a fake vagina with a M-letter on it. What Adam now has under his belt is nothing in comparison - even if we cut out 15 years of Madonna's doings.

Other stars at the AMA show performed explicitly too, presenting us daring artistic expressions. Lady Gaga wore a costume where she came off naked, then smashed mirrors and vodka bottles while playing a burning piano. Rihanna performed in a costume that revealed as much as it hid (which wasn't much) as she welcomed people into her mad house - and the performance was literally mad and full of aggression. Eninem talked about rape. Janet Jackson grabbed a male dancer's crotch during her Medley performance. So Adam certainly was not the only one playing the sex game.
So what is this big splash about, then? Well, the obvious of course: Adam kissed a boy instead of a girl. Adam rubbed a dancer's face against his crotch and touched himself. He did it all while performing a song that includes lines like "can you handle what I'm about to do?". In the context of the song, his performance was appropriate and daring yet not as racy as it could have been nor racy enough to cause such opposition. Being gay is not something you can catch while watching tv - it's not contagious. It is either within you or it isn't.

I have to agree Adam's performance presented a very stereotypical - and the most controversial - image of being gay, and that really isn't the right way to educate people or young children about the issue. But I also believe that it is parents' job to educate their children on this matter and teach them to accept gays as part of the community, it should come naturally by now - they've had a lot of time to learn and understand instead of digging deeper into their own prejudice. If parents simply transfer their own fears and ideas (not necessarily valid ones) onto their children their off-spring will grow up to be nothing less than homophobic discriminating adults. We all need to co-exist in this world.

Though defending Adam against unjust treatment over the AMA incident, I truly hope Adam won't follow in Madonna's footsteps. One queen of sleaze is enough. Plus - like expressed earlier - Adam is too talented to resort to her ways of "communication". He has a brilliant voice, he's a great energetic performer. He can be and should be out & proud gay man - but unless he wants to end up like Madonna he should find a more productive way of showing what gay is to the obviously ignorant public. Shock value isn't the way. ~Madpie, co-editor of Madonna Revelations

Sounds Of Fright!

2009-11-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

Madonna performing on her Crappy & Crappier tour... Feast on Madonna's real live sound. Perhaps whoever still wants to pay for her concert tickets should demand playback. After this garbage, there's only one question to ask: Did the cat die or what?

Madonna: Desperately Seeking Past Success

2009-11-24T12:34:00.001-08:00

Since Madonna launched herself to the orbit of fame and stardom, she has done just about anything to stir up rumours and create connections to the biggest names in showbusiness. She started with one of the greatest icons of all time, declaring herself as the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe - while highlighting the beauty mark on her upper lip as if it was some kind of physical proof we needed to believe her. She proceeded by replicating Marilyn's sensual poses and acting out her famous movie scenes, drawing in desired commentary and comparisons.

It didn't take long before Madonna came up with a connection to the King of Rock'n'Roll, Elvis Presley, as well. Coincidentally Madonna was born the exact same day as Elvis died (though 19 years earlier). Juicy fact she didn't fail to mention. Instead, she openly confessed that the spirit of Elvis had manifested in her being! Before she began recording "True Blue", according to her, she embodied two of the greatest icons. Whether anyone believed her was irrelevant.

Throughout the years, she kept projecting numerous film actresses, singers, iconic photography and the best of the world's cinema. Her ways of clinging to iconic figures was undoubtedly a brilliant marketing plan. People started unconsciously linking the two together and most importantly, never seized to talk about her. She needed a distraction from her lackings and the superficial connections and outrageous statements gave it to her.

After the infamous "SEX", notorious "Erotica" and controversial "Body of Evidence", most were convinced she would never be able to restore her career. While Madonna's self-indulgent exhibitionism was one of the things people loved, many felt burned by her sexual crusades. Within two years she had fallen out of grace with the public, the media and even her fans. She turned from pop goddess into a joke - and people weren't laughing with her, they were laughing at her.

When Madonna returned with "Ray of Light" no one laughed anymore. Instead she received praise. But no matter how famous, Madonna never passed a chance to ride on the waves of others. Around her album release Princess of Wales, Diana, died in car accident in Paris, while being chased by the paparazzi. Madonna took the opportunity to compare her life with Diana's. A tragic ending for someone else - but a triumph of survival for Madonna. Some accused her of milking the shock factor of Diana's death by choosing a paparazzi concept for her music video "Drowned World/Substitute for Love". Whether this was actually true, remains a mystery. Taken into account what she has done to get attention, it certainly wouldn't surprise us. Despite of the success of "Ray of Light", it didn't carry her that far. When "Music" was released her sales were on decline again and fast-forward to 2003 and "American Life" was already tanking.

Madonna was losing relevance. To give a boost to her album sales - or just to remain in the headlines - Madonna performed at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards accompanied by Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Madonna was overshadowed by her rival's vocal abilities but she made sure the focus would be on her by dressing the younger rivals as her brides. She herself wore the more dominating male-fashioned black tux. The performance's high (or low) point came when she french kissed both singers. The buzz was guaranteed.

Britney had already been on the list to inherit Madonna's throne and she was doing extremely well on the charts. Recognizing the possibilities, Madonna embraced the opportunity to team up with her and put the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" into full practice. She promoted Spears by wearing t-shirts with her name on the chest, proceeded to record a duet ("Me Against The Music") and unofficially took on a role of some kind of a mentor. Madonna couldn't stop repeating in interviews how much Britney reminded of her young self.

Madonna repackaged songs from her poorly selling "American Life" and released an EP "Remixed and Revisited" including a collaboration with Missy Elliott - and naturally, featuring the much talked about VMA performance with Britney and Christina. The interesting thing about all of this is that after Madonna pulled her stunt, Britney's life and career fell into a state of chaos. Was it a game of divide and conquer? Madonna didn't mince words while talking to the reporters. By giving public advice to the pop princess, she took the upper hand, kept her name in the headlines and got Britney just where she wanted her: below her. She wanted all the benefits that Britney could provide her but she wasn't going to be upstaged by anyone.

For "Hard Candy" Madonna teamed up with Justin Timberlake, no other than Britney's ex-boyfriend and one of the most successful male acts of the recent time. She repeated her provocative stage acts with him, pressing Justin against the wall and grinding herself against him. Justin (and Timbaland) made "4 Minutes" a hit single with their following. Madonna's unsurprising choice for the second single was no other than a Pharrell Williams collaboration - needless to say Pharrell made a cameo in her music video. Madonna's third single "Miles Away" had no supporting acts: it became the lowest charting single of her entire career. When Madonna launched her Sticky & Sweet World tour, she called Britney and Justin for support.

Then came the day when Michael Jackson died. Madonna reacted immediately through public statement saying she "cannot stop crying". It was a perfectly banal confession, since the two stars had fallen out of touch almost two decades earlier. More opportunistic behavior followed when Madonna announced she was going to do a tribute in Jackson's honour on her world tour. The look-alike segment stayed in the show for the whole duration of the tour, being the biggest crowd pleaser in the entire show. In 2009 Madonna released "Celebration" single from her greatest hits package and again, Jackson look-alike made an appearance. She was really milking the idea.

Shortly after Jackson's passing, MTV Video Music Awards celebrated him. No other than Madonna was chosen to make a memorial speech in his honour - or should we say in her honour? After all very little of that speech was about Michael. Mostly it was about Madonna telling us how she is very much alive and kicking. She started by comparing their childhood. Michael, ME, Michael, ME, Michael, ME. She said Michael got "the shorter end of the stick" and that Madonna was better off losing a mother that him losing a childhood. It didn't exactly sound empathetic or proper cos in other words she was saying that he had a crappy life. Madonna also suffered a remarkable memory loss as she continued "then for one reason or another we fell out of touch..." The real reason they fell out of touch was that she spoke of him in a very condescending way in numerous interviews: about wanting to cut his hair, about getting rid of his trademark wardrobe, about his unwillingness to be provocative, making him look like a wimp. Then she reminded everyone of the child abuse allegations which ruined Jackson's career - most likely the one subject everyone hoped she would not touch under any circumstances. After putting the blame on everyone for abandoning Michael, she shed her knowledge on how it feels to be condemned by the media and the public. She also repeated, two times, that though Michael was a king (and she is a queen), he was (she is) also human. And the end of the day, Madonna's memorial speech was pure self-promotion, an open invitation to her fan camp.

Back in the 80s when Madonna visited David Letterman show with Sandra Bernhard they were funny together. When Madonna talked about spanking with Arsenio Hall, she was a blast. Even when Madonna talked about peeing in the shower and said "f**k you" about a zillion times, she seemed rebellious in a charming immature way. But when Madonna appeared on SNL skit with Lady Gaga this year, it was just plain boring. I guess it was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. Standing next to Gaga didn't just make Madonna look old, it also proved just how joyless and humorless she has become. But do pay attention in the months and years to come. To Madonna, Lady Gaga is just another new fresh talent to attach her fading act on. She is already declaring in interviews how Lady Gaga reminds her young self. Ring a bell?

What started as tongue-in-cheek statements to the press has now progressed into new levels of absurdity. Today Madonna is ready to cling to every star that can give her career a boost. She has even lowered to pimping her own daughter Lourdes in order to make us remember who she used to be. Madonna will undoubtedly always be a pop icon - after the career she has had, how could she not - but the sooner she learns to let go and embraces the power of good-bye, the better. She is starting to come off pathetic and sadly grotesk. Madonna - unlike any other star in the world - has build her career on things that cannot be sustained. She should step out of the ring while she still has some dignity left. But the odds are, she will be doing the exact opposite. She doesn't know how to bow out gracefully. Perhaps she will do a duet with Lady Gaga? Or perhaps we will see her screetching on Gaga's "Monster Ball" tour? At least the theme would be fitting.

Note: No matter what anyone thinks of Lady Gaga, I think we can agree on one thing: she is probably the only star out right now who is as visual and provocative as Madonna has been. You might find it interesting that "Pokerface" starts with a sample taken from Boney M's "Mama Baker" (Ma ma ma ma!). Let's hope she won't be the new Madonna of sampling!

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-11-24T02:49:00.000-08:00

"I am not ready to adjust physically, just to be marketable. My sell-by date will run out eventually. Unlike Madonna, I wouldn't be willing to do Pilates round the clock, just to slow down the deterioration of my body. I prefer to sit in the kitchen, drink tea and eat biscuits." ~Nelly Furtado, 30, on Madonna's reluctance to age naturally

Bettie Page: "She's Not Me - She's A Copy Machine"

2009-11-23T17:46:00.000-08:00

Bettie Page is known for posing in numerous pin-up shots as well as lingerie shots. She also posed in bondage photographs. Between Madonna's infamous SEX book, released in 1992, you could find a little "humorous" attachment based on Bettie Page's bondage photos. This sexually charged photographic comic was also one of the reasons why the book's binding fell apart, the way it had been stuffed in the same binding made it hard to turn the pages.

The photos have more in common than just the theme. Madonna's pictures have been shot in a very similar set than what appears in Bettie's images, down to the similar carpeting and furniture.

There are also similarities between the girl on girl action, the struggle/fighting between women, the way she is tied to a chair, positioned on the floor, even the wardrobe is similar.

While the photos are not direct replicas, they are very similar. One more additional indication that the source indeed is Bettie Page comes from the fact that one of the characters in the pictures looks like Bettie Page.

There is no doubt in our minds that there is a link between these works and not least because of the other material in Madonna's SEX book that already rips Bettie off.

Interesting note on the truthfulness of SEX: When Madonna's plans to do a book about sex fantasies leaked out, when her book was still called "Madonna's fantasies" and not "Sex", she defended her idea to a reporter, saying: "These are my fantasies, this is what I fantasize about, so why should I be ashamed?". Yet, true to her double-standard behavior in the opening lines of SEX book she says the opposite: "Nothing in this book is true, I made it all up." So did she fool anyone? Not that many. We knew they were her fantasies, her idea of sex - and it was not in any way alluring one.

*Bettie Page's pictures courtesy of pettypage.com

Ray of Fright!

2009-11-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

Madonna's natural reaction to suggestions that she write her own songs and compose the melodies for her upcoming album. *same reaction was given later that night when also told she could not "sample" anything from the Elvis Presley catalogue

Madge-isms

2009-11-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

" When I was writing it, I was sitting in a fourth-floor walk-up on Avenue B, and there was this gorgeous Puerto Rican boy sitting across from me that I wanted to go out on a date with, and I just wanted to get it over with." - Madonna, on writing her retarded hit "Into the Groove". . . note that when she says she wanted to get it over with she is referring to writing the song, NOT her date for the night

William Orbit- Bubble Universe

2009-11-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

If you like the song "Liquid Love", you'll love it in it's original form called "Bubble Universe" available on William Orbit's Hello Waveforms album. Orbit never ceases to amaze listeners with his floaty trance-like melodies and dreamy lyrics.

The Vagina Diaries

2009-11-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

Hey you, Granma needs some powder on her cheeks! Ah, allora! She's just so vibrantly pale, enthusiastically narcissistic, compulsively ready, frighteningly willing... not to mention devastatingly eager to show her best a-*-*-ets. Such a class act, isn't she? This is how we pictured 51-year old woman posing for the camera too! We always knew she wasn't much of a lady but this is just one of those things that make you go... eeeeewwwww!

Ray Of Fright!

2009-11-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

Taken during the recent "Hard Candy" era, we find this a true gem of fright! Madonna does indeed look very hard in it - and by that we mean she seems stiff like a corpse. We're sure she didn't mean to look like a vampire victim sucked out of blood & dropped into a silky coffin, but oh well, that's what she looks like anyways. Bring in the shovels, please!

Words: They Cut Like A Knife

2009-11-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

"Hindus are urging Madonna to... do substantially more than just donating a used pair of shoes for the Roma charity."

Rajan Zed, the president of Universal Society of Hinduism

*OUCH! =)

NON-ALBUM TRACK: Let Me Free

2009-11-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Madonna hasn't changed her act much. When coming up with tracks for her "Hard Candy" album, Madonna decided to rip off someone again. This time she did it on a demo called "Let Me Free". The song was never released on the final album, perhaps because it's not that good. Definitely not hit material.

Even so, the demo of "Let Me Free" rips off a song released in 1981. The original creator was Michel Sardou and the song "Les lacs du Connemara". Regarding this particular case, we find the Madonna diehard excuses unbelievably ridiculous. One of the blind fans claimed that Madonna did not rip off this song because it is "a different type of song", as if the style has anything to do with it. The point is that she used someone's creation within her own. But then this fan let the real frog out of his/her mouth, and said that "there even isn't any hits outside of United States."

Let us inform every ignorant person out there that infact all countries outside of United States have their own charts and their own hits. While we agree that these hits might not be worldwide phenomenons like Madonna's pop tunes have been, they are still hits - perhaps not in the United States but there are other places in the world, believe it or not. And as a matter a fact, even this argument is shot to hell after we tell you the next fact. "Les lacs du Connemara" was an international hit.

Noteworthy is that Michel Sardou is French. All fans know how Madonna feels towards the French. If they do not, then they have been unconscious while watching most interviews and ceremonies where her love for the French culture, music, people, designers and so forth has been openly expressed. It's not at all impossible for her to rip off Michel Sardou because she has all the resources to do it. Interestingly enough, in many cases her friends have pointed her to some new talent they've heard about. And then Madonna, whoops, happens to either collaborate with that person or she rips off that person in one of her many projects.

So to conclude: yes, she did rip off Michel Sardou on this unreleased track from the HC sessions. The evidence is there - you just got to be open enough to hear it.

MUSIC: Amazing

2009-11-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

Well... Why change the subject while we're at it? This time we are playing you the original William Orbit instrumental demo of the Madonna song "Amazing". Unlike "Liquid Love" or "Bubble Universe" this song actually made it to her 2000 "Music" album and it was the fifth track on it. But like you've heard so many times before... This is yet again a perfect example of how Madonna's collaborator already created the song in full and only little tweaking was done when she got on board. Most of the William Orbit instrumental demo is the same as the finished version, you will notice there is only a section of music that is different. Madonna, the most original artist of the world? Yeah right, she'd lose even if she was competing with a miming toothpick!

MUSIC: Impressive Instant (Part 2)

2009-11-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

Mirwais: Naive Song

Let's stay with the "Music" album, released in 2000, shall we?!! The second track of the album - and one sure track to give Madpie a massive headache - is a trance-like bit called "Impressive Instant". The inspiration for the track didn't float to Madonna's head on this one either - or if it did, she had Mirwais' album "Production" (released in 2000 as well) on her rip off machine apparatus, in particularly the track "Naive Song".

Above Mirwais' song and below Madonna's instrumental version of "Impressive Instant". It sounds familiar... we didn't recognize it with Madonna on it...!

NON-ALBUM TRACK: Liquid Love/Bubble Universe

2009-11-20T07:11:00.000-08:00

William Orbit: Bubble Universe

In 1999, William Orbit created a song called "Bubble Universe". It was available on his website only, before Madonna made a demo of it - demo which fans know as "Liquid Love". It was supposed to be on Madonna's "Music" album (2000) but it got axed from the final list due to "giving M the wrong tingles". Later it surfaced and is now widely spread on the web.

"Bubble Universe" is just another song in the long line of songs we've presented so far (and the list goes on) where someone else - in this case Madonna's collaborator - already came up with the song on his own, to which Madonna then made some additions. We've learned that the genius behind Madonna's hits is rarely Madonna. But this you should know already if you've paid attention. She's very good at this: taking something almost finished and then putting her stamp on it - and then calling it hers.

Naturally we are not saying she denied William Orbit the co-writing credit on this song because that she hasn't done. We are simply pointing out that she has a tendency to claim credit through additions and small changes and "vibes" she wants to add to something, rather than actually doing something hugely creative in order to deserve credit.

William Orbit's "Bubble Universe" has been later officially released on his album "Hello Waveforms" (2006) with vocals by Laurie Mayer.

Here's Madonna's "Liquid Love"...

Madge-isms

2009-11-18T20:19:00.000-08:00

" You know more about my life than anybody. You've seen more of me than even Sean." ~ Madonna to Alek, 1990

Guy Ritchie and the bankers wife

2009-11-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

She is the glamorous Bosnian wife of one of Britain’s wealthiest bankers who has left London, claiming she was snubbed by society figures who would only speak to her once she was wearing a big diamond ring.

But at least Diana Jenkins seems to have found a friend in film director Guy Ritchie, diamond geezer and self-styled stalwart of London’s more down-to-earth social scene.

Mrs Jenkins, whose husband Roger was Barclays’ highest-paid banker before quitting in August to set up his own investment firm, met Mr Ritchie through friends last year.

They have since become a firm fixture on the party circuit and see each other socially on a regular basis when Mrs Jenkins, now based in LA, is in London.

The couple attended a party hosted by Jimmy Choo boss Tamara Mellon at Selfridges two weeks ago and Mr Ritchie, 41, was seen leaving Mrs Jenkins’s London home at 2am after partying at her house with a group of friends.

The hostess waved him off, but hid behind her front door to avoid being photographed.

Three days later, the couple were together again when Mrs Jenkins, a successful businesswoman in her own right who moved to the UK from her war-torn homeland in 1993, visited Mr Ritchie at Ashcombe House, his country home in Wiltshire.

The Mail on Sunday has been told that the 36-year-old, who has the use of her husband’s private jet, flew by helicopter to join Mr Ritchie and other guests at his home for tea.

She then returned to London later that day, having chartered the helicopter for the afternoon at a cost of close to £2,000.

Last night, both Mrs Jenkins and a spokesman for Guy Ritchie insisted the two are simply good friends but privately the director, whose films include Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels and Rock n Rolla, has told friends that he finds Mrs Jenkins ‘magnetic’.

‘Diana is a force of nature and has this way of drawing people to her. Guy really likes her – the word he uses to describe her is magnetic,’ one of his friends said last week.

‘Diana wanted to see him before she went back to the States, so she chartered a helicopter for the afternoon which landed in one of his fields. She said she went for tea and that was it. They get along well.’
read the whole story here at MailOnline

Die Another Day: Madonna's Double

2009-11-18T14:15:00.001-08:00

Karen Sheperd
Queen of the Martial Art Cinema Flock

Imagine it's 1992. Operation Desert Storm has just annihilated the Iraqis, anti-American sentiment is at an all-time high in the Middle-East and you're an American making an action martial arts film being shot near the Syria-Jordanian border. You're in the heart of Hezbollah terrorist territory, surrounded by billboards that say, "Death to All Americans." Now add to that, you are an American female lead, dressed in body-hugging tights, face in full view, and you have to fight a stuntman who is a devout Muslim and views women as the lowest form of life on Earth. Karen Sheperd didn't have to imagine it...she lived it.

Sheperd is not the first female martial arts star, and she won't be the last. However, unlike many women in martial arts and martial arts cinema who endure this degradation, suffering indignation in these industries run by men ? whether in pursuit of the almighty dollar or perhaps to bolster a false pride in their pseudo-star status ? Sheperd has become a martial arts Gloria Steinem (a US Feminist and spokeswoman for women's rights), a woman who has made changes behind the scenes, a martial arts role model who young girls should truly aspire to be. Speaking out means speaking up.

With martial arts skills as sharp as her looks, Sheperd rolls her soft yet piercing eyes and laughingly recounts her Shiite Muslim adventure, saying, "Oh yeah, that would be OPERATON GOLDEN PHOENIX, where I had to fight this Muslim stuntman who refused to fight with me, because I was not only showing arms, face and makeup but I was also kicking his butt.

"I had to say I was Canadian, and couldn't tell anyone I was American. Tensions were high, guys standing around with machine guns every day, and I had a guard with me at all times. This stuntman would argue about everything and held up filming. I just wanted to finish the fight and leave the country and get out of there. It got so bad that I decided with my "what the hell am I doing here" attitude to just go marching back to the hotel alone. Mistake.

"No sooner was I back to the hotel, there was a knock on my door. This guy steps in saying, 'I don't care if you're angry or upset, but please, don't ever do that again. You have no concept of where you are.' I'm sitting there thinking, 'My god, he's right.' And so I didn't. After that, they doubled my guards. . . . .to read more and see Karen kicking some butt click here

* courtesy of kungfumagazine.com

Rip Her To Shreds

2009-11-18T14:07:00.000-08:00

" Not great. I don't think you'll be impressed. If Madonna were in this room, she'd be the least attractive woman here." ~ Donald Trump commenting on Sex book

Jackson to duet with Britney Spears and Madonna

2009-11-17T19:23:00.001-08:00

King of Pop´ Michael Jackson is set to duet with reigning divas Madonna, Britney Spears and Beyonce from beyond the grave.

The stars are queueing up to sing along with the pop icon on an album which will include his classics like ‘Billie Jean´ and ‘Beat It´, reported Mirror online.

Existing recordings of the hits will be reworked so the stars can sing “duets” with Jackson in the album which is sure to top charts worldwide.

The album, in aid of a new charity being set up in the singing legend’s name, is being masterminded by music producer Mike Blakey.

“There are going to be some big surprises both in the tracks used and who is involved,” said Blakey.

Earlier the two-disc companion album to ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It´ concert film had topped the charts in US and in 16 countries abroad.

Jackson died at the age of 50, on June 25, just weeks before he was to begin his much hyped 50-date concert at the 02 Arena in London.

*courtesy of Press Trust of India

Madge-isms

2009-11-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

A favorite expression of Madonna's which she started using in 1985. It means "get rid of it."

Desperately Seeking M

2009-11-17T09:57:00.001-08:00

Madonna over the years laughing and appearing to be geniune. Some of these clips remind us of when she was human. Sometimes, it's not so bad to look back.